Always Faithful
by sel1006
Summary: To make a better life for herself and her son, Emma Swan enlists in the Marines and finds boot camp to be tougher than she anticipated. Captain Regina Mills is a drill instructor who loves the military life and its rules and regulations. Emma finds herself in Bravo Company under Regina's command, and life gets messy as the two women try to fight their attraction. Military AU
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is my first adventure into the SwanQueen pairing. This is going to be a military AU, but will definitely be taking some creative license, as I have never served in the military myself. I am however, big into military history and documentaries and such, so I have a pretty good base knowledge about how the different branches work. For the sake of the story, men and women train together in boot camp, with integrated barracks. Please don't torch me if I get the details wrong...this is my story, just go with it :)**

 **Please enjoy, and feel free to comment/review with things you liked as well as constructive criticism. As always, thanks so much for reading!**

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Even though it is well into the early morning hours, my body is buzzing as I shift on the leather of the bus seat. Looking out the window, it is dark and foggy, and the bus makes a wide turn through the gates of the military base. I've been awake since the early hours of yesterday, first reporting to my recruiter who drove me down to Logan Airport to catch a flight that would bring me to South Carolina. After meeting up with a couple dozen other guys and girls from all around the US, we were corralled by a handful of personnel in crisp camouflage uniforms and told to sit down and wait for some unknown reason. Several mind-numbing hours later we finally piled aboard a drab green bus and started our journey toward the military base.

As the bus pauses briefly at a security checkpoint, I take a minute and glance around the bus. Thankfully, there isn't anyone beside me, but as I look around the dimly lit interior of the bus, I can sense a distinct air of unease from the other men and women. One girl sitting across the aisle looks like she's about to either shit herself or break down in tears. On second glance, possibly both. She looks like she can't be much older than eighteen, and for once I am grateful to be twenty-four with some life under my belt. I focus my gaze back out the window as the bus begins to move again, chewing on my lower lip distractedly as I gather my thoughts in these last few quiet moments.

I'm about to start my training to become a Marine. Holy shit. If all goes according to plan, in a little over twelve weeks I will graduate basic training as a capable soldier. A far cry from the many years I have spent waitressing and bartending just to barely make ends meet. Enlisting had been a decision that I hadn't taken lightly, but I knew that it was a way out of small-town America and a way to make something of myself. For my son.

Reaching into my jeans pocket I pull out the slightly rumpled picture of Henry, wanting some last-minute motivation as the bus pulls to a shuddering stop. I know I am smiling as I run my finger over the glossy picture, his handsome grinning face smiling back at me, but I don't care. He's only three years old and leaving him behind in Maine was easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I give the picture a quick kiss and tuck it back into my pocket, sending up a silent prayer to whatever gods are up there to keep him safe and happy with his grandparents while I am away and starting my career in the military. No sooner have I finished the little prayer when my head snaps up at the sound of the bus doors hissing open. I reach over and wrap my hand around one of the straps of my backpack and wait for the inevitable.

Not three seconds later there is a very angry drill instructor clad in his camouflage uniform screaming his damn head off at the entire bus.

"You fuckers have precisely one minute to get your scrawny asses off my bus and get into formation!"

There's a flurry of activity as some of the other guys and girls on the bus have literally just been woken up by the screaming DI, but I'm thankful for my seat close to the front of the bus as I scramble out of the seat and toward the front of the bus. As I do so, I get a quick glimpse of the girl who was sitting across the aisle from me and confirm that she is now crying. Gritting my teeth, I easily descend the few stairs and out of the bus into the cool but humid coastal outdoors. There are several other drill instructors immediately outside and all of them seem to be as angry and loud as the first one, creating a feeling of chaos as we all start to assemble in formation on sets of yellow footprints outside the receiving depot. I quickly slide the straps of my backpack over my shoulders and fall into formation, ending up at the front of one of the lines but immediately placing my feet on the designated area and standing tall as my new squad mates also fall into place. My heart is hammering in my throat, not from fear but adrenaline, and I set my jaw and look forward as I wait for whatever may be coming next.

After what seems like way longer than a minute, we are all finally off the bus and into position. A door opens, and my eyes stray from the fixed gaze they had been in for a brief time as I see another drill instructor exiting the receiving depot.

"Attention on deck!" One of the drill instructors calls out. The handful of drill instructors snap to attention, offering crisp salutes as the new arrival strides smoothly forward. As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I suddenly realize that this impeccably uniformed individual is a woman. Her boots are shined to where the moonlight is gleaming off them, with her uniform trousers tucked into the tops of the boots just so. The sleeves of her uniform jacket are rolled above the elbow in perfect folds, exposing toned forearms despite the cool early morning hour. Everything about the way this woman carries herself is military, and based on the insignia on her uniform, she is to be respected. I try not to stare for too long but am thankful for my lucky (or unlucky) position at the front of the formation so I steal a few more glances at this woman.

"At ease."

Oh fuck. The woman's voice is deep and almost sultry. This was going to be interesting. Snapping my gaze back up to stare at nothing in particular, I see the other drill instructors relaxing at ease, following the command of the woman who was clearly their superior.

"Evening, Senior Drill Instructor." One of the drill instructors steps forward and gives the woman's hand a shake. With a quick nod towards where all of us were assembled he gives her a smirk. "They're all yours."

"Thank you, Sgt. Jones." Nodding her head in response, the Senior Drill Instructor pulls off her cap, revealing dark hair pulled back into a precise bun. I can suddenly feel her intense scrutiny as she paces slowly along the front of us, and I swallow a gulp as I realize she has stopped in front of me. She matches my height squaring off her shoulders, and suddenly I realize intense dark eyes are boring into mine. Without meaning to, I hold my breath, trying not to be intimidated by this severe woman in front of me.

 _Don't look her in the eye…don't look her in the eye…don't look her in the eye…_

My new mantra seems to do the trick, and in another moment the dark-haired drill instructor has moved to stand in front of the group, hands on her hips authoritatively as her feet settle firmly a shoulder's width apart.

"My name is Captain Mills," the woman begins, "And I am the senior drill instructor on this base."

My gaze flicks over to the woman as she continues to speak, her voice commanding as she does so.

"The next several weeks will likely be the hardest you have ever experienced. The Marines are not for everyone. We are an elite fighting force, and we demand your utmost effort in every aspect of your training. We will not tolerate anything less than perfection. If you cannot handle this, you will be dropped from training and sent back to whatever pathetic life you lived before you enlisted." She pauses to place her uniform cap back on her head. "Welcome to basic training, recruits."

Captain Mills turns neatly on the heel of her boots and strides back into the building. A soldier holds the door open for her, then remains there, propping the door open. The drill instructors begin to yell again, attempting to evoke more panic from us. Sgt. Jones appears in front of me once again, with a sick grin on his face.

"What's your name, Recruit?"

I square my shoulders and steel myself for what is apparently going to be a very long day.

"Swan. Emma Swan." I yell back, hoping to assert some semblance of confidence as I did so.

Sgt. Jones continues to leer as he raises his arm to point at the now open door to the nondescript military building in front of us.

"Welcome to hell, Recruit Swan. Now get your ass inside that building!" He shoves me roughly toward the building, and I follow orders, running full speed and hearing the heavy footsteps of the other recruits behind me as I did so.

The lights are blinding as I enter the large gymnasium area and my eyes blink several times to adjust as I realize that several more drill instructors are waiting for us. They immediately swarm us, yelling at us to get down and begin doing pushups.

My jaw is set in determination as I assume the position. It's going to be a long day.

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After the initial shock of the numerous pushups and sit-ups we had done, the rest of the day turned out to be a lot of standing in line and paperwork. I had been given a few vaccinations, filled out numerous forms, had a brief medical and dental exam, and now found myself in line to collect my gear and uniforms for the rest of basic training. The guys had also been given haircuts, and I couldn't help but grin sympathetically at the guy behind me who was rubbing his now nearly-bald head with a stunned expression on his face.

"Nice haircut Cueball." I tossed casually over my shoulder. "You'll be picking up the chicks in no time."

He looks momentarily offended but moves his hand from where it had been rubbing his head and jams it in one of his pockets. "Fuck you."

Laughing at his response, I turn around. "Emma Swan." I extend my hand toward him and he grips it, giving it a firm shake.

"August Booth."

He releases my hand and I turn to pass my new military identification to the clerk behind a desk. He glances at it and retrieves a stack of tan t-shirts and hands them to me. I toss them in the large green canvas duffle bag that I have been issued and wait for August to complete the same task. Once he is done, we follow the rest of the line, picking up various uniform items and stuffing them into our now bulging canvas bags and making small talk as we do so.

"Where you from Swan?"

"Maine. What about you?"

August stuffs the last of his uniform into his bag and hefts it onto his shoulder. "Virginia."

Nodding, I also heave my duffle onto my shoulder, following the crowd of new recruits as we jog briskly across the base, apparently heading to the barracks, where we will sleep for the next twelve weeks. The drill instructors occasionally harass us as we make our way over there, but now that we are heading into the early evening hours, I am too tired to care. I just want to stay off their radar, keep my head down, and finish my training. I've been assigned to Bravo Company, and I find myself breathing a sigh of relief to find August also is, and we stumble breathlessly into the large barracks together. One of the drill instructors yells at us to find a bunk and place our duffel on the bed, and I scramble to complete this task as quickly as possible, finding an open bunk right by the door. In the less than twenty-four hours I have been in basic training, I have already realized it pays to complete tasks before my peers. Being last or being late means receiving unwanted attention from the drill instructors, and so far, that has meant physical punishment in the form of pushups or a verbal beatdown in the form of a screaming DI. I notice that August has managed to toss his duffle on the top bunk and I grin as he appears beside me as we wait at attention at the end of our bunk for further instructions. Even though we just met, it feels good to have a familiar face already.

Even before one of the DI's calls out the command for attention on deck, I already notice another familiar face striding down the aisle in the center of the barracks. Straightening up, I watch as Captain Mills stops in the center of the room and assesses our group. She has ditched her uniform jacket and is clad in her military-issue tan undershirt with "MILLS" stamped in black ink on her chest, the shirt perfectly tucked into her combat uniform trousers. I try not to look, but my eyes seemingly betray me, making their way to appreciate the way in which the tight tan shirt is stretched over her chest as well as the short sleeves emphasizing more of her toned and tan arms. I can make out the outline of her dog tags that are sitting just underneath her shirt. Even though she is somewhat less formally dressed than the last time we had seen her, almost twenty-four hours ago, she still looks like a woman who commands attention and respect. She undoubtedly has the military bearing that we will all be striving to attain during basic training.

"At ease recruits." Captain Mills' voice echoes throughout the barracks, and I fix my gaze on the floor so my wandering gaze doesn't get me into trouble. "Welcome to Bravo Company. I have the pleasure of being your commanding officer. I have assembled a team of the toughest and most capable drill instructors, and under our instruction you will become a member of the most elite military branch." She paces slowly down the aisle, coming closer to where August and I are. "The rest of the evening is your own time. I expect that you will use it to square away your uniforms and prepare for immediate training in the morning."

Captain Mills stops in front of me and rests her arms behind her back as she assesses me. "What's your name Recruit?"

Internally, I will myself not to stammer. To do so in front of the commanding officer the first day would be a fate worse than death.

"Recruit Swan, ma'am."

Dark eyes travel up and down my body before returning to their starting position. "Well, Recruit Swan, you have the misfortune of picking the bunk beside the door. Do you know what that means?"

Raising my chin slightly I set my jaw. "No ma'am."

Captain Mills chuckles quietly, and the sound makes a shiver go down my spine. "You are now Bravo Company's Recruit Commander. I typically assign this position based on the unfortunate soul who picks this particular bunk."

I swallow thickly, hoping that the warmth I can feel spreading across my face because of the unwanted attention isn't easily noticed by this intimidating woman in front of me.

"Recruit Swan, you are now in charge of Bravo Company. Bravo Company will either succeed or fail under your leadership. I hope you will be up to the task." She turns and heads back down the aisle. "If you are not, you will be replaced." She strides confidently down between the rows of nervous recruits. "Get some rest recruits. Your training starts tomorrow."

With a motion for the other drill instructors to follow her, Captain Mills exits the barracks through one of the side doors, and I exhale the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. August claps a hand down on my shoulder sympathetically.

"Good luck Commander Swan."

"Fuck you Booth." I brush his hand away but give him a playful punch on the shoulder. "Lucky me, I guess."

We begin to put away our uniforms as an air of nervousness settles throughout the barracks. Although we are all exhausted and ready for bed, we feel unsettled about not knowing exactly what to expect when training starts tomorrow. I enjoy trading teasing insults with August as we ready our uniforms for the day tomorrow, and I already know that we are going to be good friends after only a few hours together. Eventually, lights go out around ten o'clock, and we settle into our bunks, most of us too wired to get any rest. I fall into a fitful sleep, being woken every so often by August rolling over restlessly in the bunk above me.

I'm rudely awoken the next morning at four o'clock, falling out of my bunk in surprise as the doors slam open and the bright lights burn our bleary eyes. It's only when the drill instructors begin to scream, and I pick myself off the cold floor to stand at attention in my undershirt and boxer briefs, that I wonder exactly what the fuck I've gotten myself into.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, thanks for the interest in this story so far. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Just a heads up that is my weekend on for work, so the next update probably won't be until early next week. Thanks for reading!**

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The first few days of training are a shock to my system. The abrupt early morning wakeups are tough to get used to as I'm decidedly not much of a morning person. Add to that the handful of DI's shouting orders at you as you're suddenly thrown into consciousness, and it can be a lot to handle. Mostly our days have consisted of a 4am wakeup with ten minutes to get cleaned up and into our uniforms for the morning. It is chaotic and intense, but so far, it's nothing I can't handle. After we are all ready, we jog in formation over to the chow hall for breakfast. The food is nothing great, but it's fuel for our bodies for the day, so I try and eat as much as I can over the fifteen minutes that we are allowed in the chow hall. After that we have been heading for several hours of drill in the mornings. The drill instructors have been beating into us the basics of how to carry ourselves as Marines, things like marching in formation, how to salute properly, as well as an information overload on what seems like the entirety of Marine history. I can now recite the entire chain of command while doing pushups, which is a skill that I never thought I'd ever possess. Our afternoons are spent with some type of physical training, usually some type of jog around the base followed by pushups and sit-ups. After our training is finished for the day, we head to the chow hall for our dinner and then we are allowed back to the barracks for the rest of the evening. So far, Booth and I have spent our few nights together studying all the information they want us to have memorized, often quizzing each other while shining our boots and squaring away our gear for the next day. Lights go out around nine o'clock, and I've been so tired I've been sleeping like the dead until our rude awakening the next morning. I usually spend a few minutes before I pass out thinking about my son and remembering exactly why I am here. It's the best motivation. I miss Henry more than words can say, but I know I have made the right decision for us, even though I still have twelve long weeks ahead of me.

Today is our fourth full day of training and started off much like the other three, with the exception that they had us put on our PT gear instead of our normal camo uniform. As I laced up my running shoes, I heard one of the DI's announcing that today will be our first physical fitness test. Eating breakfast, I tried to choose foods that I know would help me perform well in the test. I've always been a physically fit person, and I know that I'm in really good shape. I ran cross country in high school and college, so the running will be a piece of cake. My recruiter had come up with a training plan for me when I joined up, so I've also been working on my pushups, sit-ups, and pull-ups for the past few months to prepare physically for boot camp. We've been told the first PT test will be a mile and a half run, then two minutes to complete as many pushups and sit-ups as we can. Glancing around the chow hall I can already get a feel for the other recruits that will have strong results in the PT test. As company commander, the position so generously given to me by Captain Mills, I've tried to step up to the plate and get to know the other recruits in Bravo Company. Mentally running down the list, I know that there are a few recruits that are going to struggle with the PT test, and I hope that won't come back and bite me in the ass as company commander.

Once morning chow was over, I gave the command for us to fall out and took my position in the lead of the two lines of recruits as we headed over to the PT area. We've already become familiarized with this area over the past few days, and there's a track, a large field for stretching and calisthenics, an obstacle course, a sand pit (which I've been told is used for punishments, but thankfully haven't experienced yet), and a large indoor gymnasium, which is used when the weather is bad, I assume. It's another humid morning, and the fog sits low over the grass as the sun is just beginning to appear on the horizon. I'm glad that I ended up shipping out to boot camp in the early fall, because I can imagine that hot summers for boot camp would be pretty miserable. But right now, the temperature is perfect for running, and as I call out the command for the company to halt, we come to a stop and wait for the next instructions.

"Swan! Get your company to the infield of the track and lead everyone in some stretches." Sgt. Jones gestures over his shoulder to the running track and crosses his arms as he waits for me to follow orders.

"Yes sir!" I call out, starting to jog towards the designated area. The other recruits follow suit and we make our way over and start to run through some basic stretches. As I'm bent at the waist and leading everyone in stretching our hamstrings, I get a glimpse of movement to my left. Following the movement, I realize that Captain Mills has appeared on the dewy grass infield and is dressed in her PT gear. Her hair is pulled back into what I have come to realize is her normal tight bun but seeing her for the first time in our PT uniform of olive green running shorts and tan t-shirt seems jarring. She looks like she's ready to run the test with us. There's a watch strapped to her wrist and she's wandering slowly through the ranks of stretching recruits, seemingly assessing the fresh meat as she does. Sgt. Jones and Sgt. Mead are also wandering through all of us, with Sgt. Mead swinging a stopwatch casually as they wait for us to finish up our stretches.

A few minutes later we are done, and I call everyone to attention as we wait for further instructions.

Captain Mills heads to the front of the group and steps in front of us, hands on her hips as she looks at me expectantly, her gaze intense, which I've come to understand is the norm.

"Recruit Swan, is Bravo Company ready to proceed?"

"Yes, Captain Mills." I call back in response.

With a brief nod, Captain Mills launches into the instructions for the physical fitness test.

"Recruits, this will be your initial physical fitness test. It will help us assess your current fitness levels and is an abbreviated version of the final test you will need to pass in order to complete basic training and graduate as a Marine. There are four portions, and you will earn points in each portion. A perfect score is 350. The minimum passing score is 200. If you do not hit this benchmark, you will have one more opportunity to pass this exam in two days' time. If you fail once again, you will be dropped from training and either sent home or to a physical conditioning platoon to train until you are able to meet the physical training standards that we require." She pauses, and I feel my face flush as her gaze fixes on me again. "We will begin with the mile and a half run, which must be completed in fourteen minutes. Then we will move onto pushups and sit-ups, where you will attempt to complete as many as you are able in a two-minute period. Lastly, you will complete pull-ups, as many as you are able, with no time limit. Is all of this clear, recruits?"

"Yes ma'am." The entire company choruses in response.

I feel the nerves in my stomach as we all head to the starting line on the track. I know I will have no trouble completing the test, but I want to make my physical abilities known from the start, so I stand out from the rest of the recruits. Plus, being company commander means that I'm sure I'll be judged more harshly than the rest of the company, so I need to show that I'm up for the challenge. As I take my place at the head of the pack, I notice that Captain Mills has joined the group, and has appeared beside me at the front, pushing a few buttons on her watch as she waits for Sgt. Mead to give us the official start. I can hear her soft exhale of breath as she readies beside me, and I follow suit, trying to focus myself for the task at hand. A few seconds later, Sgt. Mead gives us a "ready" command, followed by a loud "Begin!" and my muscles spring into action as I take off at a good clip.

I try and set a strong pace, and I know that I will have no issues meeting the time requirement for the run. In college I easily ran below a six-minute mile pace for most of my cross-country races, so I know I'll end up well below the fourteen-minute benchmark. My legs feel strong and I start to get into a solid rhythm as I round the track. I steady my breathing in time with my feet hitting the track, and half a lap in I settle into a strong pace.

For the first lap, all of Bravo Company seems to fall into a large cluster, with everyone staying together. But halfway through the second lap, I can see that the pace I've set is too difficult, with ten or fifteen of the other recruits starting to lag behind the group. I can hear a fair amount of people directly behind me, and with a quick glance over my left shoulder I see August giving me a cocky grin as he is keeping up with me. Bringing my focus back to the track in front of me, I focus on my breathing again and let my body do its thing as I complete the next few laps.

At the mile point, Sgt. Mead calls out our times as we pass the starting point and I'm pleased to find that I've run the first mile in just over six minutes.

 _Piece of cake_ I think to myself as I push my pace a little faster. My heart is pounding in my chest and my legs are starting to burn with the exertion, but I know I've got more than enough in the tank to continue at this pace and finish the last two laps. Glancing around, I can see the rest of Bravo Company at various points around the track and grimace a bit when I notice that there are a few recruits that seem to be struggling. There are footsteps behind me still, even though the pack has thinned out considerably, and I turn around, hoping to call out some words of encouragement to August, but am surprised when I find that it's Captain Mills that is right behind me. I stumble slightly when I realize my commanding officer is easily keeping pace with me, but right myself in a few more strides and continue around the track.

Captain Mills is a physical specimen it turns out. Even though I had a brief glimpse, she looked like she was out for a Sunday stroll and not essentially sprinting for just over a mile. I knew that as a female, especially in a position of command, she had to meet high standards for physical fitness, but I never expected her to join us for any of the training, let alone run along with us as we tried to not embarrass Bravo Company.

With one lap left, I remember my training and begin to stretch my strides to finish with a good kick. I'm definitely feeling the burn now and am grateful that the finish line is literally in sight as I've exerted myself to my maximum effort. Sweat is running down from my forehead and burning my eyes, and with a grimace I swipe my hand across my face to clear it out for the last couple hundred yards. Suddenly a body comes up on my left and is even with me. Without even glancing at them, I know it is Captain Mills. As the thought crosses my mind, she kicks it into another gear and with an impressive pace she moves in front of me. The competitor in me wants to prove something to her and the other officers, so I bump up my pace to try and keep up with her. After a few seconds, her blistering finishing speed is too much for me to keep up with, and I watch as she crosses the finish line several paces in front of me.

As I cross the finish line, I get an impressed grin from Sgt. Jones, who seems surprised that a woman has beaten out all the other recruits, with the majority of them being young fit males. I move off to the side of the track and onto the grass, breathing heavily as I try to calm my heart rate down and to start the recovery process before we have to move onto the next task.

"Swan!"

I look up as Sgt. Jones is beckoning me toward him. Sucking in another breath I walk over to him, noticing that Captain Mills is standing beside him, breathing rapidly but otherwise looking no worse for the wear.

"Sir?"

"That was impressive, Recruit Swan."

"Thank you, sir." I pull up the bottom of my shirt and wipe at the sweat that has gathered on my face. When I drop it back into place and straighten up, I notice that Captain Mills is staring at my torso, just where my bare abs had been on display a second ago.

"In all my years as a drill instructor, I've only seen one recruit post a faster time on their initial PFT." Sgt. Jones continues. "And that former recruit is currently standing next to me." He motions to where Captain Mills is, still breathing slightly heavily and with a light sheen of sweat on her tanned face. "Strong work Swan, keep it up. Go walk it off."

I lift my chin in reply, still feeling the intense scrutiny from Captain Mills. "Thank you, sir." I know I had done well, but I hope I hadn't spent too much energy on the run, knowing that there were still a few more tasks to go. As I headed to go cool down and started to stretch my muscles, I found myself wondering how Captain Mills had ended up in her position. Sgt. Jones just said that he had been her drill instructor, and Captain Mills looked as though she couldn't have been over thirty years old. She had to be one of the younger drill instructors on the base, and she clearly had risen through the ranks rapidly for her age. But seeing as though she had just kicked my ass in the run, I'm sure her physical abilities had to do with some of her success.

"Fuck. I think I'm dying."

August appears next to me, gasping heavily as he crashes down into the damp grass.

"Glad you finally showed up Booth." I laugh as he rolls over, his t-shirt dark and soaked with sweat.

"Dammit Swan. You've got some serious wheels. You some superhero or something?"

"Nah." I chuckle, moving into another stretch and feeling the pleasant burn of well-used muscles. "I ran cross-country. In high school and college."

August groans as he sits up and starts to stretch. "You're a fucking stud Emma. I've never seen anyone run like that." He wipes his hand across his flushed and sweaty face. "You know I hate you, right?"

"I'd hate me too if I were you and got beat by a couple of girls." My eyes somehow find their way over to where Captain Mills is, and I swallow thickly as I realize she is changing out of her apparently sweaty t-shirt. I try not to stare but can't help it as my eyes rake over her taut and tanned abdomen and her black sports-bra clad chest. Her metal dog tags catch the light briefly where they lay on her glistening chest. I'm caught staring as she slips a fresh t-shirt over her head, her eyes narrowing as they realize that I'm totally checking her out. She neatly tucks in her fresh t-shirt into her running shorts and moves to watch the last of the stragglers finishing their run.

"Recruit Swan."

I cringe as I hear her calling out my name. Rolling my eyes internally, I jog over to my commanding officer.

"Ma'am."

Captain Mills gestures to where a handful of fellow recruits are gasping as they stumble through their last lap.

"Those recruits are about to fail the run portion of this test." Her dark eyes pose a challenge. "As company commander, what are you going to do about it?"

Glancing over to my fellow recruits, I think about the best possible answer. I know their failure to complete the run in the allotted time will reflect poorly on my leadership skills, but the fact that they didn't train properly before arriving at boot camp isn't my fault. Swallowing my pride, I start to run again, heading around the track and quickly catching up with the slow-moving group.

"Come on guys, you're almost done. Let's finish this out together." I reach out and gently push a couple of them, hoping that they'd take the hint and speed up the pace. Thankfully, with the gentle prodding and some more verbal encouragement, we cross the finish line as a group. As I make my way through the small group and clap a few of them on their shoulders in solidarity, Captain Mills appears and orders us to fall into formation. We scramble to do so and complete the task a few seconds later.

The only sounds are heavy breathing as we struggle to regain our composure and the birds chirping in the trees. Captain Mills takes her place at the front of our assembled company and pauses for a few beats before beginning to speak.

"Despite a strong performance from a number of individual recruits, I regret to inform you that Bravo Company has failed this portion of the physical fitness test." She pauses, and I can feel her eyes settle on me briefly before continuing on. "One of the fundamental ideals of the Marines is that we work as a team. We are only as strong as our weakest soldier. We succeed as a team, and this case you have failed _as a team_." She walks slowly across the front row of recruits, her toned legs looking impossibly long in her running shorts. "In this case, six recruits did not meet the time requirement. If Recruit Swan had intervened sooner, I have no doubt that Bravo Company would have finished this portion well within the time constraints."

I can feel my anger beginning to rise as Captain Mills blames me for the failure. I know it isn't _actually_ my fault, but I know I'll have to take the blame and use it to make sure this never happens again in the future. I bite my tongue and face forward, my jaw raising in slight defiance.

"We will continue on to the rest of the physical fitness test in ten minutes. Although you will now be re-testing in two days' time, the drill instructors and I would like to see where you all are at for the rest of the events for today. Take a short break to stretch and hydrate, and we will proceed in ten minutes. I hope you will remember to put the team first in the remaining events."

"Stretch it out recruits!" Sgt. Jones calls, as we break formation and go about stretching and readying ourselves for the rest of the test.

"Captain Mills is kind of a bitch." August whispers as we open our canteens and take a few gulps. "You crushed that run."

Wiping at a few drops of water that have escaped down my chin, I look over to where Captain Mills is walking away toward the gymnasium.

"Yeah…she's definitely something." I reply.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey all. Thanks so much for all your comments on the story so far. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, probably toward the middle of next week. I'm off this weekend but have a couple holiday parties because 'tis the season, right? Happy reading!**

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Thankfully, we all passed our re-test a couple days later, preventing us from seeing the full wrath of our drill instructors, mostly Captain Mills. The rest of the week ended much like the beginning, alternating between drill and PT and learning everything we needed to know about being Marines. While the rest of the week was pretty intense, I learned that Sundays are considered an "off" day, meaning that for the most part, we are able to spend our day as we like, except for our three square meals that we never miss and always happen at the same time each day. Some of the guys went to church services, but I'm not much into organized religion, and chose to spend my time studying with August and a few of the other recruits, as well as reading a letter that I had gotten from Henry. In reality, it was more just a few scribbles and crayon drawings, with a letter written by Mary Margaret.

David and Mary Margaret Nolan are my adoptive parents, having adopted me when I was seventeen. I had bounced around the foster system for my entire life up to that point and had given up on the idea of being adopted. I guess fate intervened though, and I ended up being placed with them and the rest is history. I owe so much to them, and without them I don't think I would have graduated high school or even gone to college. I ended up pregnant with Henry my junior year of college and had dropped out, but without David and Mary Margaret's support, I wouldn't have been able to raise Henry. I'm glad I have people that have my back and can take care of my son while I'm at boot camp. His pictures and "letter" are a welcome sight after a crazy first week of training, and I will myself not to cry as I think about my kid waiting for me back home. Henry was a surprise to say the least, but I can't imagine life without him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I can't wait to see his handsome face when I graduate boot camp. We're not allowed phone privileges yet, but hopefully in a few weeks I can give David and Mary Margaret a call and talk to Henry too.

It's almost eight o'clock on a Thursday, and the rest of my buddies are preparing to hit the rack as I'm preparing to take the first watch. Our second week of training had introduced watches to us, meaning that we now take four-hour shifts outside the barracks in pairs, attempting to stay awake as we literally do nothing. It's tough and mindless (and downright miserable if it rains), but I've been enjoying getting to know more of the other recruits. I'd rather be spending those four hours in my bunk and resting after another tough day, but this is my duty and I'll make sure I'm performing it to the best of my abilities.

I finish lacing up my freshly shined boots and slip on the jacket to my camo combat uniform over my t-shirt, my fingers deftly buttoning up the jacket, a skill I've become very good at in the past couple weeks. Smoothing down the jacket, I glance down the aisle to make sure my watch partner is ready to go and grab my cap off my bunk. Booth reaches down from his perch in the top bunk and offers his fist.

"Have a good watch Swan."

I bump his fist with mine, slightly jealous of the fact that he'll be sleeping while I'm outside on watch.

"Thanks Booth. Get some extra sleep for me."

August yawns and settles into his bunk. "Yes ma'am."

I pull open the door and hold it open. "Recruit Lucas, you coming?"

Ruby's long legs carry her over to me in a few strides and she gives me a grin before exiting the barracks and heading outside. I'm glad to be on watch with her. She and August have become welcome friends over the past couple weeks, and I'm glad to be suffering through this experience with the two of them. Ruby and I have been on watch duty together the past couple nights, so we've been using the time to get to know each other and commiserate about boot camp life. She's one of the stronger female recruits too, so we're planning on spending our next Sunday in the gym working out together.

Before I exit the barracks, I flick the light switch a few times to flash the lights in warning. Several of the recruits glance toward me.

"Lights out in one hour, Bravo Company. Finish up what you're doing and prepare to hit the rack." I call out, watching to make sure that my message has been heard. Satisfied that the others are doing what they're supposed to, I head outside to join Ruby and settle into our watch. Closing the door to the barracks gently behind me, I head down the few stairs to where Ruby is standing. The sun has just gone down, and the base is quiet, with recruit training having ended for the day a couple hours ago. After all the chaos and yelling that each day brings, it's slightly jarring to my senses to have a few hours of peace and quiet.

Ruby sighs loudly as I join her, clearly bored after less than a minute of our watch.

"God…I kind of hate watch." She scuffs the toe of her boot against the cement as she settles her cap on her head. "It's about as exciting as watching paint dry."

"I'm not the biggest fan either Ruby. But let's get through it so we can hit the rack in a few hours."

Ruby sighs again but straightens up. We chat quietly for a while, making sure to keep an eye out for any of the drill instructors who like to surprise us to make sure we're doing our job correctly. Ruby is sarcastic and funny, and I find myself enjoying her company. I can definitely see us being friends outside of boot camp. But who knows where we'll end up after all this is done. We have enlisted into different occupations within the Marines, so the odds of us ending up at our next training assignment together are pretty slim. After boot camp, Ruby is going to be training to be a helicopter mechanic, while I am going to be training to be a military police officer.

After a bit, we begin to quiz each other, making sure we have all our required knowledge fresh in our minds for the coming week. We have just started our marksmanship courses and have begun to learn all about the M16 rifles that we will be using for the remainder of training. Just as Ruby asks me a question about the specs for the M16, I see a figure jogging towards us. Squinting my eyes in the darkness, I see the figure heading toward one of the DI cabins that are nestled about fifty or so yards from our barracks. As the figure gets closer, I notice a familiar face, and elbow Ruby quickly to get her attention.

"Look alive Ruby, Captain Mills, twelve o'clock."

We both straighten up, standing at parade rest as Captain Mills comes closer and into the soft light from the outdoor lights attached to the barracks. As she gets within a few paces of us we both snap into attention, giving a salute to the officer.

Captain Mills gives us a salute in return. "At ease recruits."

We settle back into parade rest, and I glance over to Captain Mills to see that she is in her PT gear once again. Her shirt is dark with sweat, and she looks as though she has clearly just finished a long run. Even in the dark, I can see the sheen of sweat on her brow as it glistens in the dim light.

"Captain Mills."

"Recruit Swan." She replies. I can see her eyes checking over our uniforms quickly, making sure they are up to standard. "Glad to see you are both awake. I had the misfortune of discovering one of the other recruits asleep at his post during second watch last night. I trust that this issue has been adequately addressed?"

I give a curt nod in reply, trying to not let my commanding officer get under my skin. The recruit in question was one of the weakest links in the company, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they were dropped from training in the next few days.

"Yes ma'am. That recruit has been dealt with."

With a brief nod and a glance at Ruby, Captain Mills speaks again. "Swan, please join me for a moment." She indicates for me to follow her, and I do as I'm told, falling into step with her as we head toward one of the cabins. It is quiet as we walk, but once we arrive in front of the cabin's small porch, Captain Mills stops and turns toward me. "I wanted to speak to you about your position as company commander, Swan."

I set my jaw and look up at Captain Mills, who is now standing on the bottom step of the porch, no doubt trying to intimidate me by being slightly higher than me.

"You have been company commander for two weeks, is that correct?"

I nod in reply. "Yes, Captain Mills."

"How would you say you have performed so far as company commander?"

I pause and swallow, slightly surprised by the question. I take a moment to gather my thoughts before answering.

"It has been tough. The skill level between all the recruits varies quite a bit."

Captain Mills takes a moment to consider my answer, but her face remains impassive. I've always considered being able to read people my strong suit, but Captain Mills makes it nearly impossible.

"I see."

My eyes catch a small drop of sweat beginning to make its way down her cheek, and she must feel it too as she reaches up to brush it away with the back of her hand before continuing.

"Let me be frank, Swan. I see a lot of potential in you. There is no doubt you are one of the strongest recruits in Bravo Company. But your leadership skills are decidedly lacking, and the drill instructor staff feels as though you are not cut out for the position."

My anger begins to boil up and before I can stop it, I have opened my mouth and snapped back a retort.

"I didn't ask for this!"

Captain Mills steps off the porch and stands in front of me, she's an inch or two shorter than me but she's still impossibly intimidating.

"I suggest you keep your outbursts to a minimum, Recruit Swan." She says quietly. "Or I will punish you accordingly."

My jaw tilts up in defiance and I stare straight at the drill instructor, almost daring her to make me drop and give her fifty. "Understood, Captain Mills."

Captain Mills returns my stare for several seconds.

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, you have potential. Potential which has so far been wasted, if I'm being honest. You say you didn't ask to be in a position of leadership, but unfortunately, you did. You asked for it when you signed up to be a Marine. Being a Marine means being a leader, and that is a trait that you need to develop, Swan." She backs up a step, but her eyes never leave mine. "Because I see so much potential in you, I'm willing to give you some guidance. Every Sunday you will now meet with me to develop those skills which you have demonstrated you are so clearly lacking. Is that clear?"

I'm a little surprised to hear that I am now Captain Mills' pet project, but I have no choice but to agree with my commanding officer. It's a little disappointing that I will have to give up some of my free time on Sundays, but if this will keep the drill instructors off my back, then I'm all for it.

"Yes ma'am."

With a brief nod, she dismisses me. "I'll expect you at four o'clock sharp, Swan. Dismissed. You may return to Recruit Lucas. Please try and stay awake."

I salute her in reply and turn sharply on my heel and jog back to where Ruby is waiting dutifully outside our barracks. She greets me with a grin.

"What did the Evil Queen want?"

I shake my head and take my place beside my friend and stare out toward the darkened military base. "Oh, you know, just to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing. So basically…the usual." I chuckle as we settle in for the rest of our watch. "Also, she's our commanding officer. You probably shouldn't call her that."

Ruby shrugs next to me, clearly unconcerned by my request. We settle into silence again, each of us willing the next few hours to pass quickly so that we can get back into the warmth of our bunks. As my eyes stare out into the darkness, I can't help but wonder what my extra time with Captain Mills would bring.

* * *

Following orders, I am waiting outside Captain Mills' cabin at precisely 3:55pm on Sunday, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the idea of spending extra time with my commanding officer. The past couple days had been brutal, between the lack of sleep from doing my assigned watch duty for the week and the rigorous training schedule. Thankfully, today was Sunday, meaning we actually got an extra hour of sleep and some time to ourselves. I spent the morning doing laundry at the base laundromat and spent the afternoon writing letters to Henry and my parents. The time seemed to fly by, and before I knew it Sgt. Jones was telling me that Captain Mills wanted me to meet with me at her cabin. And here I am, standing on her front porch, hand poised to knock on the door. Taking a minute to steady myself, I finally make the move and knock lightly on the door.

Seconds later, I hear movement behind the door, and suddenly the door has opened, revealing Captain Mills standing in the doorway. I snap off a quick salute which she returns and then stand at ease when she follows the salute with the command.

"Recruit Swan. Please, come in." Captain Mills extends one of her arms, gesturing into the small cabin.

I follow her instructions, still feeling apprehensive of the situation, and head inside, immediately pulling off my cap as per military protocol as I enter the cabin. As I enter, I take in the small area. The furnishings are rather sparse, with a small kitchen combined with a living area. Through a door at the back of the room I can see into what must be the bedroom, the linens on the bed neat and crisp with military precision. I suddenly blush at the idea of looking into another woman's bedroom and fix my gaze elsewhere, coming to an awkward stop in the center of the small kitchen.

Captain Mills is dressed in her camo combat uniform and as per usual the uniform is pressed to perfection with the trousers bloused neatly into her combat boots. "Please, sit." She gestures toward the kitchen counter where two tall barstools are.

I can't help but hesitate. Being in Captain Mills' home is intimidating to say the least, and I'm not sure what to expect from this meeting.

Captain Mills notices my hesitation and for the first time since I have met the woman, she smiles. It's brief, but for the first time she looks human. My eyes are drawn to her mouth, and I notice a small scar on her upper lip.

"Please, Swan, sit down. I know you are used to the way I am during training, but I assure you, that's not who I am all the time." She pulls a couple of glasses down from a cabinet. "Being the Evil Queen all the time would be exhausting."

As I'm sitting down, I look back up at her nervously. She's clearly heard the nickname the recruits have given her. "I told them not to call you that."

Captain Mills returns with two glasses of iced water and places one in front of me before taking the stool next to me. "Relax. It's not as if I've never been called that before. Recruits have been calling me that since my first day as a drill instructor a few years ago."

I give a tight smile in reply before picking up the glass and taking a sip of the cool water. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I gently put the glass back onto the linoleum counter. "Permission to speak freely?"

Captain Mills nods. "Of course. While you are here you have permission to speak freely."

I play with the condensation on my glass for a second before raising my eyes to meet hers again. "It doesn't bother you? To be called that…I mean."

"No, it does not. Being a drill instructor requires me to have a certain persona, I suppose. Excellence was demanded of me while I was at the Naval Academy, and once I joined my unit in the Marines, it was all I ever knew. That is why I push all of you so hard. I want excellence and nothing short of excellence is acceptable." She turns slightly on her stool so that her body is angled toward me. "That is partially why I asked you here today. I can see your potential, and I know that you can be an exceptional Marine. But your leadership skills are severely lacking, and we need to address that."

I know Captain Mills is right. Although it's only two weeks into boot camp and it is well known that physically I am up to the task, my leadership skills certainly leave a lot to be desired. But that's not really my fault as I was just thrust into the position as company commander.

"Captain Mills, if my leadership skills are so bad, why don't you just make someone else company commander?"

Captain Mills takes a moment to take a sip of her water. "That would be doing you a disservice, Swan. I know you don't see it yet, but you have immense potential. That's why I have been so hard on you. With some extra attention you will be a wonderful asset for the rest of the recruits." She pauses for a moment. "The Marines are a brotherhood. We all have each other's backs. I trust my drill instructors and the other officers with my life. We have all been through hell and back, on multiple occasions for some of us. Being a Marine is a difficult lifestyle, and it's not for everyone. I wasn't sure it was for me at first. But if you stick with it and develop the mentality and skills you need to be an effective leader, you will go far in your military career." She reaches across the countertop where a stack of paper and a couple pencils are, sliding them in front of me. "Now, are you ready to begin?"

I nod, even though I'm still unsure about exactly what is about to take place. "Yes ma'am."

"Good." Captain Mills finishes off the last of her water and stands to place her glass in the sink. "Please pick up the pencil and begin writing. I want a thousand-word essay on the characteristics you possess that make you an effective leader." She crosses the room into the living area and drops onto the hardwood floor and begins to effortlessly bang out pushups. "Begin."

My jaw drops as I watch my commanding officer doing pushups in perfect form. She's completed at least twenty in quick succession and is showing no signs of stopping as I pick my jaw up and begin to scribble on the paper in front of me. I wasn't sure what to expect from these extra training sessions but watching Captain Mills doing PT as I write an essay was certainly not it. With another glance at Captain Mills who was now paused in plank position to recover between sets of pushups, I shake my head in disbelief and put my head down to continue my assignment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next installment of the story. Thanks for reading! Enjoy!**

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Even though it's the middle of the night, I am sweating profusely, and have now decided that ruck marches are my least favorite part of boot camp. Three-mile runs? No problem. Obstacle course? Piece of cake. Being exposed to tear gas? Definitely unpleasant to say the least, but I survived. But ruck marches? These have now become the bane of my existence. Fully loaded, our rucksacks weigh about sixty pounds, and I can feel every damn pound on my back with every step I take. Add to that carrying a rifle, wearing a Kevlar vest, and a bulky helmet, and it's a recipe for misery.

"Keep your ass moving Swan." Sgt. Mendell shouts out from his position in the back of the slow-moving pickup truck with the other drill instructors. "We can do this all fucking night."

Even without looking up I know that he has a sick sadistic sneer on his face. Sgt. Mendell is one of the more vicious drill instructors, and we've all come to realize he takes some sort of sick satisfaction from torturing recruits. I grit my teeth to bite back a sarcastic reply and adjust the strap of my rifle over my shoulder. Wiping at the sweat dripping down my cheeks, I turn my head to the side as I hear footsteps coming up behind me and see Ruby limping slightly as she closes the distance between us to come up beside me.

"Sgt. Mendell can kiss my ass." She grits out, panting heavily as we fall into a jog together. "I have a blister the size of Texas on my foot."

Despite my best efforts, I can sympathize, feeling the excruciating pain of a sizeable blister forming on my left heel as it rubs uncomfortably on part of my combat boots. I was glad that tomorrow was Sunday. Training had ramped up the past week as we were now just past the six-week mark of boot camp, and I was looking forward to having some extra time to rest up and recover from the strenuous week. Plus, we now have phone privileges, so a long-overdue phone call to talk to my son was most certainly on the agenda.

"You gonna make it Rubes?"

Ruby nods in reply, her Kevlar helmet wobbling on her head slightly. "Do I have a choice?"

I chuckle darkly, wincing as the cramp in my calf begins to make a reappearance. "You go ahead. I think it's another mile or so. I'm going to fall back and make sure the stragglers are okay." I reach out and slap my palm encouragingly against the top of her helmet. "Hang in there but finish strong. Okay?"

"Roger that. See ya in a bit, Em." Ruby gives me a strained grin and a thumbs up as she picks up her pace, still limping as she moves ahead of me. I slow my pace down to a brisk walk, turning around and walking backwards so I can see how many of Bravo Company are behind me.

Given that it's after midnight and there aren't any lights to illuminate the narrow backwoods road, I have to squint a bit to make out the group of recruits a couple hundred or so yards behind me. I can see the neon glow sticks that the drill instructors have given us so that we are more visible in the darkness, and quickly count eleven of them, meaning that there are still nearly a dozen recruits that need to pick up the pace in order for us to finish under the required time limit.

"Shit."

After a few Sunday meetings with Captain Mills, I know it is my responsibility to fall back and make sure we all finish as a company. With a quiet groan I shoulder my rifle again and double back, heading toward the group of stragglers. My back is screaming in protest from the weight of my rucksack, but I have no choice but to suck it up. I start back into a jog and start to close the distance between us, pulling out my canteen and gulping down several mouthfuls to try and prevent the leg cramp from getting worse. I can already tell that I'm going to be hobbling tomorrow.

A few moments later I have made it back to the group of stragglers, who are looking like they're in much worse shape than me. A few of them look as though they are about to pass out from exhaustion and Aurora looks like she's been crying, and I know I have to step in and try and motivate everyone to make it the rest of the way.

"How we doing back here Bravo Company?" I fall into step with them, trying to pick up the pace slightly to keep us all moving toward the finish line at a faster clip.

"How much further?" Jefferson asks, his face twisted in agony as he breathes heavily. "I'm not sure I can finish."

Even though I'm in agony too I put on my best winning smile, hoping to adequately mask my discomfort. "Just about a mile." I reach out and grab Jefferson's rifle from his shoulder, attempting to lighten his load even if it's just a little bit. I sling it across my other arm. It's awkward to carry two rifles but putting the team before myself has been drilled into my head the past several weeks. "Come on guys, we're almost there." Turning my head from side to side I scan the group, making sure that no one is in actual physical distress. Once I face forward, satisfied by the chorus of combat boots slapping against the pavement, I notice someone standing off to the side of the road several paces in front of us, leaning against a parked truck. As we get closer, I realize it is Captain Mills.

It is dark, but as we pass her, I swear she gives me a slight nod of approval. Grinning despite my discomfort I start one of our familiar call-and-response marching cadences, hoping to distract us for the rest of the ruck march. Hearing my fellow recruits call back in reply I know I have made the right choice and we fall into a synchronized jog as we make our way down the dark forest road.

* * *

Luckily, we had all finished the ruck march in the allotted time, and we piled into transport trucks and were driven back to our barracks where we all fell into our beds and right to sleep being absolutely exhausted. When I woke up a handful of hours later, my body was beyond sore. Being a Sunday, I took advantage of the relaxed schedule and spent a few extra minutes in the shower after noon chow, standing under the scalding spray to relax my spent muscles. After getting dry and checking out the very large blister on my left heel, I threw on my PT gear of running shorts and t-shirt and headed to the rec building where the phones are, trying not to limp pathetically as I walked across the base, but failing miserably. Pulling open the door, I immediately noticed a small line of other recruits waiting to use the phones. I should have expected this, given that it's our first day of phone privileges and everyone wants to call their boyfriends and girlfriends and families. I glance to the front of the line and notice that one of the DI's is timing each phone call, ensuring that each recruit only gets five minutes, and I realize that this will make the line move faster.

It is painful to stand in line, but after a while I have made it to the front of the line and Sgt. Jones is calling my name and gesturing to one of the open phones along the wall. I move to pick up the phone and pull out my phone card from my shorts and enter the required information to connect the call. Biting my lip nervously I wait for the call to connect. It rings a few times before the familiar sound of my adoptive mother comes across the line.

"Emma? Is that you?"

Just the sound of Mary Margaret's voice makes my eyes squeeze shut to prevent tears from gathering. I haven't realized just how much I have missed her until I hear her voice. I swallow thickly but recover after a beat, smiling as I clear my throat to reply.

"Yeah MM, it's me."

I laugh as she squeals excitedly, holding the phone away from my ear for a second to avoid the full brunt of the loud noise. "Are you okay? How is boot camp? David! Go get Henry!"

Smiling widely at the sound of my son's name I try and answer her questions quickly, knowing that I don't have a lot of time to catch up and go over all the things that have happened so far at boot camp.

"I'm good. Boot camp is tough, but I'm getting through it." I adjust my stance and wince as my calf tightens up again. "How are you guys? Henry behaving for you?"

"He misses you a lot." Mary Margaret replies. "But he's been an angel. He's right here, I'll put him on in a second. I just wanted to hear your voice for a minute. We miss you so much Emma. David and I are so proud of you."

I can hear the pride in her voice and know that I am so lucky to have a support system back home. Making the transition into military life was going to be a big adjustment for Henry and I, so I know that having Mary Margaret and David back home was huge.

"I miss you too. Say hi to David for me, okay?"

"Of course. Okay, here's Henry. Say hi to mama, Henry." There's a brief pause and I can hear a rustling noise as Mary Margaret passes the phone to my son.

"Mama! Hi!"

My eyes shut again as I hear my son's excited little voice in my ear. I can picture his dark brown hair falling into his eyes and his happy grin. God, I miss him so damn much.

"Hi Henry." I try and stifle a laugh as I hear Mary Margaret in the background encouraging my three-year-old to talk to me. "What are you doing?"

"I playing wif Grampy David."

"Oh yeah? You playing cars? Or cops and robbers?"

"Cars mama." He replies, like it's the most obvious answer. It is quiet for a few beats before he continues. "You comin' home soon?"

I can feel my heart clench at his innocent question. If only he knew how hard being separated from him was. I just keep telling myself to take it day by day, and that I was halfway to having my squirmy little guy back in my arms. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sgt. Jones gesturing at me to wrap it up and I nod to tell him I'll do just that.

"Not quite yet kid. Listen, mama loves you so much, okay? I miss you and I can't wait to give you lots of hugs and kisses when I'm all done learning how to be a soldier." I pause and adjust the receiver against my ear, willing myself not to cry in front of my drill instructor and the other recruits. "I love you Henry. Be good for MM and Grampy David."

"Love you too mama. I be good."

With a wistful smile and a quick promise to Mary Margaret to call the next chance I get, I hang up the phone with a quiet exhale. While it was nice to hear Henry's voice, even if it was for a brief time, it made me very aware of the thousand or so miles between us. Limping away from the phones I glance at the watch on my wrist and notice that I need to head over to Captain Mills' cabin ASAP for our weekly meeting. Grimacing through the pain in my leg and foot I try and hightail it over there to the best of my ability.

I'm in agony as I make it to the small cabin, immediately noticing Captain Mills waiting for me on the porch. I pause at the bottom of the stairs, coming to attention and saluting her. She returns the salute quickly.

"Good afternoon Swan."

"Afternoon, Captain Mills." I limp up the stairs, cringing as I feel the large blister on my heel opening up as I make it up the last step and onto the porch.

"You look slightly worse for the wear." Captain Mills gaze moves up and down my body, seemingly trying to assess my injuries. "Please, come in." She gestures toward the door before pulling it open and waiting for me to cross the threshold into the cabin.

Even after a few weeks of meeting with Captain Mills, I am still slightly uneasy in her presence, especially when I am in her home. While our conversations have been helpful in developing my leadership skills, something about this woman intrigues me. She is different from any other woman I have met, and that throws me off. But I find myself looking forward to our weekly meetings.

As soon as I have entered the kitchen area, Captain Mills disappears into the back part of the cabin for a few moments. I wait politely for her to return, awkwardly glancing around the room for a few moments as I waited. My eyes stop on a framed diploma on the wall and I step closer, wanting to read the words on it.

 _2nd Lieutenant Regina A. Mills_

 _United States Marine Corps_

 _Bachelor of Science in Political Science_

Beside the diploma was a picture of Captain Mills in her dress blue uniform, shaking hands with a Marine officer. Beside that was another frame, which I realized is a boxing medal from when she was at the Naval Academy.

Huh.

I feel as though I just learned several new things about Captain Mills. First, her first name is Regina. I say the name a few times in my head to test it out. It feels strange on my tongue, almost forbidden. Second, she has a degree in political science. I guess I never really considered that she had a degree, although she had mentioned that she had attended the Naval Academy, so I suppose I should have realized that she would have a degree. I desperately want to ask her about how someone with a degree in political science ended up as a senior drill instructor, but for now I'll keep that information to myself.

The boxing thing though…that was kind of hot. Captain Mills had now solidified her status as a badass in my mind.

Just as I started to consider that topic, I hear Captain Mills clearing her throat across the room. Feeling my face flush at being caught prying into the personal details of her life, I turn away from the wall, preparing myself to begin whatever exercise or assignment she has prepared for our meeting. I am surprised to see she is standing beside her small couch holding what looks to be a small first aid kit.

"If you are done snooping about, please come sit down. Let me look at your injuries."

Just as I open my mouth to protest, not wanting to seem weak to my commanding officer, Captain Mills holds up a hand and cuts me off.

"Spare me the protest Swan. I have done my fair share of ruck marches in my career and the way you limped into the cabin suggests that you need some medical attention." She points to the couch again. "Unless you'd rather I make you go to medical call?" She raises her eyebrows pointedly.

I know that medical call is for pussies, so I shake my head and limp over to the couch, groaning in pain as I sink down onto the cushion. I find myself holding my breath as Captain Mills sits beside me, her close proximity slightly unsettling. I let out the breath I've been holding as she slides closer, and as I inhale again, I note the clean floral smell of what I assume is her shampoo. It smells amazing, but it is a wistful reminder of the fact that I've been celibate for the better part of six months and living with mostly guys for the past six weeks.

"Now, I assume you have a blister?" Her question startles me but thankfully prevents me from falling down the rabbit hole into the growing attraction I have to my senior drill instructor.

I nod in response, gesturing to my left foot. "Pretty bad one."

Captain Mills sets the first aid box onto the couch beside her and opens it up. "Let's see it then. Blisters can be dangerous if they get infected. Take off your shoe."

Following her instructions, I gingerly slip off my running shoe, immediately noticing the dark crimson stain that has appeared on my cotton sock.

Captain Mills reaches out, and the first touch of cool fingertips to my bare skin causes me to suck in a quick breath.

"Here, let me." Her fingers slide gently down my calf to my ankle and slide the now-saturated sock off my foot. Once the sock is off, she surprises me by lifting my foot to rest on her knee. I have to adjust my position on the couch slightly but allow Captain Mills to examine the large open wound on my heel. "Well, this is certainly impressive." She says dryly, looking up to catch my gaze for a moment. She looks down once again to study the wound, her fingers gently prodding around the area as she inspects it. "I'm almost inclined to send you to medical call."

I shake my head, reaching out to still the movement of her fingers. As our fingers brush together, I feel a spark of energy between us. "No, please. Just bandage me up, I'll be fine."

Dark eyes flick up to meet mine, and due to the close proximity of Captain Mills I allow myself to finally study my commanding officer for a brief moment. Her eyes are dark brown but have a captivating quality to them. They are intense like usual, but for the first time I can see a softness to them. My heart jolts as I realize that my senior drill instructor is absolutely stunning.

Well, shit. Leave it to me to be attracted to the one woman that I absolutely could not be with.

Captain Mills clears her throat, pulling her hand away from where it was touching mine.

"Very well. This won't be very pleasant for you I imagine." She pulls out some antiseptic spray and some gauze and prepares to clean out the wound.

I wince as the antiseptic spray comes into contact with the large blister, squeezing my eyes shut for a second as I wait for the burning feeling to pass.

"Well…it can't be any worse than childbirth, right?" I grit out, clenching and unclenching my jaw as Captain Mills dabs gently at the affected area with some gauze.

Captain Mills pauses her ministrations, looking intently up at me again, and I am slightly uncomfortable as I realize what I had just said. I tried to keep the fact that I was a mother under wraps. I didn't want the other recruits or the drill instructors seeing me as weak, just because I had a kid. Her lips purse as she continues to dab at my injury.

"I wouldn't know." She replies softly, reaching into the first aid kit to get some more gauze. She looks up at me again, a slight crease in between her brows. "I was not aware you had a child." A wave of emotion passes across her beautiful face for a brief moment but disappears as quickly as it had appeared. She clears her throat as she discards the soiled gauze and reaches for some antibiotic ointment. "How old?"

"He's three." I wince as her fingers spread the cool ointment across the raw area, making sure to rub it in fully.

Captain Mills nods and pauses to look up at me once again. Her face softens, and she smiles, her demeanor becoming more open as she does. "That must be hard for you to be separated from him."

I shrug. "It is. But I'm doing this to better our life, so that's how I justify it."

Captain Mills is silent as she processes this information, continuing to tend to the large open blister on my foot. She eventually places a large bandage over the area, giving it a gentle pat to emphasize the completion of the process. "Well, that's a good start. Be sure to keep the area as clean and dry as possible. I'll give you some clean gauze and bandages to change the dressing before you go to sleep."

"Thanks." I rub awkwardly at the back of my neck and move to take my leg back from where it is perched in Captain Mills' lap. Sitting in the same position has caused my muscles to stiffen, and I attempt to stifle a groan as the cramp in my right calf returns with a vengeance. I let out a painful hiss in response and look over to where Mills is looking at me with a look of concern. "I'm fine." I groan. "Just a little cramp." Biting my lip, I watch as her eyes narrow, clearly able to see through my bullshit excuse.

Captain Mills reaches down and brings the affected leg onto her lap, much like she had with my other one just moments ago. Goosebumps erupt on my skin and it sends a shiver down my spine as soft fingertips run firmly down the tight muscles in my calf. She reaches the area that is cramping and presses gently with her thumbs, making me groan again.

"Oh fuck…right there." The pain is intense but as she focuses her nimble fingers in that area for a few seconds, rubbing in small circles, I can feel the knotted area of muscle beginning to relax. Exhaling as the worst of the pain begins to subside, I watch her work the area for a few more minutes. She moves on to running her palms firmly up and down my lower leg and I sigh in relief, sinking down fully into the couch cushions. I close my eyes, feeling the full weight of exhaustion after several intense weeks of training as Captain Mills attempts to work out the kinked muscle in my leg.

I must have dozed off for a brief time, because when my eyes open, the cabin is dimly lit, and I am stretched out across the small couch, by myself. Sitting up suddenly in surprise, I rub the sleep from my eyes, groaning at the tightness in my back from my heavy rucksack. I glance around the room and find Captain Mills sitting in a chair at the small kitchen table, sipping from a mug as she reads a book, a dark pair of reading glasses perched adorably on her face. She notices that I am stirring and pulls the glasses from her face, setting them down to mark her place in the book.

As quickly as I am able with my protesting muscles and bandaged foot, I stumble to my feet, knowing that I needed to get back to the barracks because I have been gone for way too long. In my haste to get off the couch, I lose my balance. Two tanned arms wrap around my waist and prevent me from falling, and my eyes flick up at the contact to find Captain Mills with an amused smile on her face.

"Easy there, Swan." She helps steady me then releases her arms from around my waist.

I stare at my senior drill instructor for a moment, swallowing thickly. The way she is looking at me makes me shiver, and I force myself to avert my eyes, so I can make an exit before I make a fool of myself.

"Uh…thanks for patching me up. I'm sorry I fell asleep. I should…um, I need to get back to the barracks."

"Yes, of course." She gathers up some of the medical supplies from earlier and presses them into my hands. "Make sure you keep that blister clean and dry. And you need to drink more water if your muscles are cramping that badly."

Nodding, I make my way toward the door, immediately noting how the cramp in my calf has eased significantly, and I honestly want to turn and kiss Captain Mills for relieving the excruciating pain. But somehow, I know that is against my better judgement, so I continue out onto the small porch. It is completely dark out, and I know that I have been gone for more than a few hours. I pause at the top of the steps and begin to move into the position of attention, so I can salute Captain Mills. Just as I square my shoulders and move my right arm up, a hand reaches out and lands on my forearm, effectively stilling my movement.

"You don't have to do that Swan. No one is around." She says softly. "Just go. Get some rest." With a soft smile she releases me.

My brow furrows slightly in confusion, but I follow her gentle command and make my way down the few stairs. As I limp back to the barracks, I spare a quick glance back toward Captain Mills and notice she is still standing on the porch. With a tiny grin, I shake my head and continue my way back to the barracks, realizing for the first time that we didn't actually get to our lesson for the day. Oh well. Next week, I suppose.


	5. Chapter 5

**So it is 12:39am here where I live, meaning that it is now officially Christmas! Consider this update my Christmas present to you. I'm thankful for all of you and your encouragement on this story so far. I hope that you all get to spend the day with your loved ones. I hope you all enjoy this. Thanks for reading!**

 **Oh and trigger warning for this chapter. There's some physical violence and some homophobic language in here!**

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The gymnasium is sweltering and filled with the heavy scent of stale sweat and old wrestling mats. My t-shirt clings to my skin as it is fully saturated with sweat, and I'm attempting to regulate my breathing as I recover from my latest sparring match. Today is our final session of hand to hand combat training, which is a mix of self-defense and mixed martial arts techniques. Our drill instructors have set up a tournament of sorts for Bravo Company as a last training exercise and have pitted us against each other in several matches to see who will come out victorious. Growing up as a foster kid, I've had my fair share of scraps and fights with other kids over the years, and David had taught me basic self-defense when I came to live with them, so I had taken to the mixed martial arts training pretty easily. I had won my first few matches handily and was awaiting the results of a couple current matches to see who my next opponent would be.

Lifting up the hem of my t-shirt, I wipe away the sweat that is beading along my forehead. Glancing around the large gymnasium at my fellow Bravo Company recruits kneeling along the edges of the wrestling mats, I stop and take a moment to reflect on how far we have come. This is the end of our tenth week of boot camp, and we _almost_ look like actual soldiers. We are leaner, stronger, and more tanned (from the hundreds of hours spent in the southern sun) than when we arrived on the base two months ago. I can feel the changes physically in me, even though I entered boot camp in what I thought was pretty decent shape. My arms and shoulders have muscles that weren't there before, probably from the numerous pullups and pushups we have done, or from climbing the 20ft rope at the end of the obstacle course multiple times. My midsection, which was previously flat and toned, now has a pretty impressive set of six-pack abs, which I honestly didn't think would happen after housing a baby in there for nine months, even though it was a few years ago. My legs are strong and capable of carrying me on six to seven mile runs with ease, as well as carrying a heavy load on those miserable ruck marches. Overall, I was feeling ready to graduate and looking around, I knew that my fellow recruits and friends were feeling the same.

Turning my focus back to the wrestling mat in front of me, I grin as I see Ruby's long legs wrapped around the torso of the person she is sparring with.

"Come on Rubes, you got this!" I slap my palms loudly against the wrestling mat in encouragement as her opponent attempts to free themselves from the grasp of Ruby's thighs against their abdomen. My grin grows wider when I notice that Ruby has now managed to wrap her arms around her opponent's neck and is now applying pressure for a rear-naked choke to win by submission. Arching her back, she throws them both onto the mat and I can see her forearms straining with effort as she tightens her hold. Just as I think Ruby is about to give up, her face turning a deep red with the intense effort, I see her opponent frantically tapping his hand on her arm to signify his submission and Sgt. Mendell moves in to separate the two recruits as Ruby flops back against the mat in relief.

"Recruit Lucas wins by submission."

Ruby's opponent is gasping heavily on all fours and I watch as Ruby swiftly gets to her feet to leave the wrestling mat, stopping first to bend and give her opponent a sympathetic pat on the back before shooting me a wink and sitting down across the mat from me and pulling the tie from her hair to fix the mess of dark hair that had escaped during her sparring match. I give her a quick thumbs up before glancing around the room to see who was left in the tournament. Besides Ruby and I, it looked as though there were two other recruits still in the running. Phillip and Mulan were standing by Sgt. Jones, apparently waiting for the drill instructors as they spoke amongst themselves to determine who would go up against who in the last few matches. I was pretty confident I could make a good showing against either Phillip or Mulan. Both of them were physical studs, near the top of the class in all of the PT exercises, but both were surprisingly good at grappling and despite being smaller than most of the male recruits, Mulan was deceptively strong underneath her camo fatigues.

"Recruits Swan and Smith, front and center."

Well, I guess I'll be fighting Phillip next. Tucking in my t-shirt as I stand, I move to the center of the mat and prepare myself for my next sparring match.

Luckily, I am able to take advantage of Phillip's cockiness and manage to win my match by forcing him out of the ring. Thankfully, the match was shorter than my others, and I was glad I hadn't expended much energy in the process. Patting Phillip on the shoulder, I moved off the mat and took my place kneeling once again on the edge of the mat to watch as Ruby and Mulan squared off.

Their match was long and intense. Ruby's longer limbs gave her a distinct advantage, but Mulan was faster, moving between transitions and positions with ease. But once Mulan took Ruby down and pinned her against the mat, Ruby was unable to escape from the vicious arm bar that Mulan placed her in and was forced to submit to the smaller woman. Both women rose from the mat grinning, knowing they had been evenly matched, and gave each other a high five as they walked off the mat.

Sgt. Mendell stepped into the center of the mat and yelled for everyone to listen up.

"The final match will be Recruit Swan versus Recruit Fa." His gaze moved around the room as he assessed Bravo Company's level of exhaustion, seemingly satisfied that the grueling couple of hours had worn us down adequately. "The winner will get bragging rights as well as a special… _surprise_ , so let's make it a good match, recruits." He locked eyes with me for a second, his mouth twisting into the familiar sneer we had unfortunately become well acquainted with.

Rising to my feet, I shook out my limbs and moved to the center of the mat. The drill instructors were giving Mulan a few extra seconds as she had just completed her previous match, so I took a moment to breathe in slowly and steady myself before I had to exert myself again on what would be a difficult opponent. As I raise my eyes from the blue wrestling mat, I notice Captain Mills sitting several rows up on the bleachers across the gymnasium, watching me. Had she been there the whole time? Before I had time to process this, I felt a large hand pushing me roughly into the center of the mat and heard Sgt. Mendell yelling for us to begin.

Mulan immediately moved toward me, shooting for a takedown right off the bat. I barely managed to evade her, and we both exchanged grins as we circled slowly, trying to get a read on one another. A few minutes later we were both rolling around on the mat, grappling and trying to gain the upper hand. I quickly had realized that Mulan was the real deal with sparring and was lucky to have managed to escape a few of her submission attempts. Breathing heavily as sweat dripped into my eyes, I tried to plan my next move. Strands of my hair had escaped from my bun as a result of all the rolling around, and I tried to brush a sweaty strand out of my face before Mulan could change her grip and wrap her dangerous legs around my torso. Sucking in a deep breath, I assessed our position before tightening my grip around her waist and dipping my shoulder to roll us both over. I must have caught her by surprise, because I somehow managed to wrap my legs around her waist and wrestle one of her arms through, ending in the position for a decent triangle choke. Clasping my ankles together firmly, I squeezed my thighs as tightly as I could manage in my exhausted state and wrenched her arm toward me. Closing my eyes and hoping for the best, I held on for what felt like an eternity.

Suddenly I feel frantic tapping against my chest and knew I had been successful. Immediately releasing my thighs from around Mulan, we both slumped to the mats in utter depletion as cheers rang out from the other recruits. Grinning as I heard Ruby and August's distinct excited whooping, I reached out to clap my hand on Mulan's shoulder a few times before getting to my feet and standing at attention the best I could in the center of the mat. My eyes searched the bleachers which were noticeably empty, but movement in my periphery caused me to turn my head slightly, where I saw Captain Mills stepping through the gymnasium doors and into the outdoors. I could hear the faint slam of the doors shutting, and I returned my focus to the mat where the cheers had died down at the urging of the drill instructors.

My proud grin fades when I see Sgt. Mendell pulling off his hat and handing it to Sgt. Jones. His eyes narrow as he makes his way onto the mat to join me.

"Congratulations Swan." He rolls his neck menacingly and places his hands on his hips. "You have earned bragging rights for the rest of boot camp." He pauses and glances around the gathered recruits. "Even though it wasn't much of a contest with all these pussies." With a nasty chuckle he returns his gaze to mine, and even though I raise my jaw to show him I'm not intimidated by him, I don't like the look in his eyes. "Your _surprise_ is that you get to fight a _real_ _Marine._ " He begins to circle me slowly, with the predatory gleam in his eyes. "Let's see how you make out against me, huh Swan?"

Instinctively, my arms come up and I move into a defensive stance. In the back of my mind, I'm pretty sure that drill instructors engaging in combat with recruits is frowned upon, but I'm not going to be the bitch that blows the whistle on it. Sgt. Mendell is easily over six feet tall and has close to a hundred pounds on me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to roll over and let this asshole have his way with me. He lunges for me and I parry his attack to the side, and I immediately know that this is going to be a not so pleasant experience. This is solidified when I feel a large fist connecting with my cheek that knocks me to my knees.

My head is swimming as I struggle to realize that my drill instructor had just physically assaulted me. But I don't have time to process as suddenly a heavy body is upon mine, breathing heavily in my ear. Sgt. Mendell's arms wrap around my neck and begin to squeeze and I fight against it, bringing my hands up to clutch desperately at his forearms to alleviate the pressure.

"Don't think I don't know where you've been spending your Sundays, Swan." Mendell growls in my ear. "Fucking your senior drill instructor won't get you promoted you know."

Anger surges in me and I release my grip on his forearm to swing my elbow back as strongly as I can. I feel it connect and hear a satisfying crack as it does. Mendell's arms release me and I scramble to evade the man and get to my feet. Sucking in a few deep breaths I glance around the mat, seeing the stunned faces of the other recruits. Ruby's eyes are wide with concern, and as I glance at the other drill instructors, they clearly seem uncomfortable with what is happening. Seeing a flash of movement, I whip my head back to where Mendell is getting up from his knees, holding a hand to his cheek where my elbow must have connected with him.

"You little cunt." He pulls his hand away and tightens both hands into menacing fists. "I'll have you kicked out for assaulting an officer." He rushes toward me again, and this time I can't evade him and feel the wind getting knocked out of me as his broad shoulder connects with my abdomen. He immediately settles on top of me, pinning my wrists to the mat with his hand and gripping them so tightly I screw my eyes shut in pain.

"Fuck you." I spit out, planting my bare feet against the mat to try and gain some leverage to raise my hips off the mat and move Sgt. Mendell from his position over me. I manage to get some momentum and raise my knee to place a solid hit to his flank, causing him to hiss in pain.

"I bet you'd like that Swan." Mendell's face is violently red and he bends closer before straightening up and swinging his fist down toward my face. I manage to move my head slightly, but he still connects with my face and I feel the immediate sting of a cut opening up on my eyebrow. My head swims again from a second punch and I feel his warm breath on my cheek as he laughs sadistically. "I'd fuck you better than that dyke Mills, believe me."

Warm blood trickles down my brow and into my eye, making my already fuzzy vision even worse. Blinking rapidly, I try to clear my vision, so I can see if another punch is coming my way. Sgt. Mendell tightens his grip on my wrists again and even through the blurriness I can see his free fist raising up to prepare to punch me again. I struggle underneath him, bucking my hips as strongly as I can, grateful as I'm able to knock him off balance for a moment. He releases my wrists as he reaches out to brace a hand against the mat and I take advantage, pounding my fists into his ribs several times before he growls out in pain and reaches down to grip my chin. His fingertips press violently into my skin and I know from the immense pressure that I'll likely have bruises there in a few hours.

"Surrender Swan. You can't fight it. Admit you _fucked_ Mills, and this will all be over." Mendell leans closer to me and I can feel flecks of saliva hitting my face as his stale breath washes over me. His hand squeezes harder but roughly pushes my face into the mat before sliding down to my throat and beginning to apply pressure there.

Blood is still trickling warmly down my face and as Mendell slowly cuts off my air supply I know that I'd rather pass out than show any weakness in front of the rest of my recruits and in front of Mendell. He was clearly a sick, sadistic bastard, and I wasn't about to let him get any satisfaction from assaulting me in front of my peers. Just as I begin to fade into unconsciousness, I hear someone shouting from across the gymnasium.

"Sgt. Mendell! Release Recruit Swan _this instant_!"

The hand squeezing my windpipe lets up and I watch as a boot roughly kicks Mendell's shoulder and knocks him to his side on the wrestling mat. Struggling to catch my breath, I roll awkwardly so my back is to Mendell and take in several gasping breaths. Sgt. Jones was apparently the one who forced Mendell off me and he bends on one knee beside me.

"Easy Swan. You took a couple nasty blows to the head." He helps me sit up and my stomach rolls as a wave of dizziness overtakes me. I pull up my knees and lean my head down to rest on one of them as I wait for the feeling to pass. I feel someone else kneeling beside me and turn my head to see Ruby looking at me with concern in her eyes. She examines the wound on my face and I wince as I feel her fingers pressing the quickly swelling area underneath my right eye.

"That fucker gave you a nice shiner Em." She says grimly. "Booth and I wanted to join the fight to even things up a bit, but we knew it would make things worse for you. Plus, it would probably get us kicked out of boot camp."

I'm too exhausted to reply so I settle for shaking my head slightly, but even the gentle movement of my head starts the room spinning again and waves of nausea begin to make a stronger appearance. I blink my eyes a few times to try and clear the fog as I finally register a familiar voice berating Sgt. Mendell.

Captain Mills.

I raise my head and turn it to the side gingerly, watching as Captain Mills tears Sgt. Mendell a new one. I've missed a lot of the conversation so far, but what I'm hearing now makes me think that everything will be okay.

"You have intentionally endangered and assaulted a recruit, Sgt. Mendell. This is unacceptable on so many levels. _Unacceptable_. You _will_ report immediately to the Commandant's office. If you so much as glance at another recruit between here and there I will have you escorted off this base faster than you can blink an eye. Are we clear Sgt. Mendell?"

I can't look at the man, but I hear him sneer a reply at his commanding officer and hear the slap of his boots as he strides across the hardwood floor and makes his way out of the building.

"Sgt. Jones?"

"Yes, Captain Mills?"

"Please escort the rest of Bravo Company back to their barracks. Training has concluded for the day. I will escort Recruit Swan to the infirmary." There is a pause as Captain Mills lowers her voice. "Killian, thank you for intervening and coming to get me when you did."

Sgt. Jones' reply is equally as quiet. "Of course, ma'am. Mendell was out of line." He clears his throat and yells the order for Bravo Company to get into formation. There is a scramble of activity and Ruby gives me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before following instructions and moving to join the formation. The sound of boots hitting the floor in synchronization makes my head pound and I groan softly as Bravo Company exits the gymnasium, leaving

I move my head back to rest on my knees. The nausea is beginning to become unbearable, and I know I have sustained a concussion in my scuffle with Sgt. Mendell. I feel warmth as an arm wraps around my shoulder and turn my head to rest on my uninjured cheek as I find myself staring into concerned brown eyes.

"Can you stand?"

Not wanting to open my mouth for fear of vomiting I nod gingerly. I am grateful for the strong arm wrapped around my shoulder as Captain Mills guides me to my feet. As soon as I stand up the room starts to spin, forcing me to squeeze my eyes shut at the sensation. Captain Mills' arm moves from around my shoulders to around my waist, and she helps me as we move slowly toward the doors. I'm so exhausted and my head is pounding so fiercely that it's all I can do to grip a fistful of Captain Mills' t-shirt and rest my head weakly against her shoulder as we move.

As soon as we are outside the bright sunlight increases my pain tenfold and I am forced to my knees as the nausea finally gets the best of me and I manage to groan quietly before bending at the waist and emptying the contents of my stomach into the grass. I heave and retch, my eyes stinging with tears from the effort. Captain Mills remains steadfastly by my side and I am grateful for the soothing palm that is rubbing across my back as I continue to cough.

After a few moments, I think I am finished vomiting and straighten up with a slight groan. The world is still spinning, and I can feel my head getting foggier with each minute that passes. I let Captain Mills guide me along the pathways. Even in my concussed state, I am slightly surprised when she bypasses the infirmary building, instead leading me down the familiar path toward her cabin.

"I thought you were taking me to the infirmary."

"Doctor Whale doesn't know his ass from his elbow. Taking you there would do more harm than good." She replies quietly, helping me slowly up the stairs and onto the porch. "You are showing signs of a head injury, likely a concussion. You need a quiet place to rest and someone to keep an eye on you. My cabin provides both of those." Captain Mills pulls her arm from around my waist and makes sure I'm steady before pulling open the door. A gentle hand at the small of my back ushers me forward and I'm grateful for the darkened cabin as I enter into the house as requested.

As we enter the kitchen area, Captain Mills stops to place a pair of boots on the floor beside the door and then bends down to unlace hers before slipping them off, leaving her in a pair of socks. Another wave of dizziness washes over me and I stumble forward unsteadily to grab onto the counter.

"Captain Mills." I mumble, bending and resting my forehead against the cool linoleum surface, wincing slightly as my cut makes contact. "Think I'm gonna pass out."

Captain Mills closes the distance between us in a few urgent strides, clearly seeing my knees beginning to give out. Just as I let myself begin to fall, I feel strong arms catching me and lifting me easily, holding me against her chest.

"I've got you Emma."

The pain in my head is intense, but as I tuck my head along Captain Mills' collarbone I exhale shakily and allow myself to be carried. My eyes are closed shut as she carries me, her socked feet quiet against the hardwood floor. It's only once I am deposited on a soft surface and I immediately curl up against cool sheets that smell like Captain Mills that I allow myself to completely succumb to the pain. I begin to fade into blissful unconsciousness but as I do, I am comforted by gentle fingertips stroking along my forehead and into my hair. Captain Mills' voice is the last thing I recognize.

"What am I going to do with you Emma?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey all. Thanks for patiently waiting for this next installment. As always, thanks for reading and for your encouraging comments!**

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"Emma."

The warm feeling of a hand being gently placed on my shoulder rouses me from a fitful sleep. I open my eyes to tentatively glance around a darkened room and immediately feel nauseous. With a groan I am forced to close my eyes, screwing them shut as I remember the altercation with Sgt. Mendell. I feel the mattress dip beside me as a body settles next to me. The hand on my shoulder squeezes gently.

"Emma. I need you to open your eyes." Captain Mills says softly. "I know you don't feel well, but I need you to wake up for a few moments so I can check your injuries."

As I slowly process her words, I become aware of the dull throbbing pain in my head. That fucker Mendell had definitely given me a concussion. With a deep breath, I exhale slowly while opening my eyes to find Captain Mills beside me. My eyes struggle to focus, and I blink several times to clear the fuzziness as I glance around the room and take in my surroundings. Although the room is dark, my bleary eyes eventually settle on a picture on the bedside table and even in my foggy brain I suddenly realize that I am in Captain Mills' bedroom. I blink again, focusing more on the picture and as my concussed brain slowly processes the image, I begin to realize that I am clearly looking at a wedding picture.

Captain Mills' wedding picture.

The picture is beautiful, from the stunning white gown that Captain Mills is wearing, to the gorgeous smile that adorns the other brunette's face. The photo captures what must have been a first dance, as the two women are wrapped around each other intimately on a hardwood dance floor, with several other people watching the happy couple with smiles on their faces. The other woman in the picture is dressed in a crisply pressed white uniform, clearly a Naval officer. My eyes move back to Captain Mills, taking in the happiness in her loving expression as well as the wedding ring clearly adorning the hand that is wrapped possessively around her wife's neck as they dance.

I pull my eyes away from the picture, suddenly feeling as though I am encroaching on my commanding officer's personal life. I slowly attempt to sit up, closing my eyes again as I feel the room start to spin at the change in position.

"Easy there, Swan."

Captain Mills reaches out to steady me, placing a hand along my upper back. My eyes open at the feeling and I find myself looking into a pair of concerned eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great." I reply, wincing as her fingers connect with the swollen area beneath my eye, pressing gently along the area to check for broken bones. "How long was I out for?"

Captain Mills moves her fingers upwards to skim along the cut on my brow. "A few hours." Her face shifts into a frown as she assesses the cut. "I don't think this needs stitches, but I'll need to clean and bandage this."

"Okay."

As she pulls her hand away, I realize the wedding ring from the picture I had just discovered is no longer present on her finger. Just as I am about to ask about it, Captain Mills stands from the bed and moves toward the bathroom. She flicks the bathroom light on as she rummages about for a few moments and returns with her first aid kit as well as a wet washcloth. The bed dips once again as she settles beside me. She reaches up to grasp my jaw gently as she guides my face away from hers, so she can clean the dried blood off my face. It is quiet as she spends a few moments softly rubbing away the dried blood that has caked on my cheek. I let out a soft hiss as the washcloth moves higher and dabs at the small wound.

"Sorry." She says as she presses the cloth to the wound with more pressure. "It's still bleeding a bit." She pulls back for a moment and I can see the fresh blood staining the formerly white towel.

"It's fine." I reply with a half shrug, feeling the soreness in my body from the physical exertion earlier. As Captain Mills begins to bandage my wound, my mind begins to relive the events of just a few hours ago, and I find myself beginning to shiver as I remember the look of hatred in Sgt. Mendell's eyes as he brutally attacked me and accused me of sleeping with my senior drill instructor. My mind struggles to wrap itself around what had happened, and I take in a shaky breath as I consider the allegations against me. Not only had I assaulted a drill instructor, but if Mendell tried to save his own ass by throwing Captain Mills or I under the proverbial bus, then I would potentially find myself out of the Marines and on a bus back to Maine.

"Emma, you're shaking."

Captain Mills dips her head to capture my gaze, and my eyes are immediately draw to the tenderness in the dark eyes in front of me. She moves her hands so they are resting on my upper arms, and squeezes gently once. Her hands remain there as her thumbs begin to move softly against the cotton fabric of my t-shirt. "Everything is going to be fine."

My heart thumps wildly in my chest as Captain Mills reassures me. I am seeing a completely different side of my drill instructor, and I am honestly not sure what to think. But looking into her eyes, I know that everything will be alright, and I let myself relax under her soothing touches.

"Okay, now that your wound is bandaged, we need to get some ice on that swelling beneath your eye. Do you think you can stomach a little food?"

I nod gingerly, knowing that putting something in my stomach would probably help the nausea subside. I pull the sheet from where it had tangled around my legs in my sleep and scoot to the edge of the bed slowly, trying to minimize any sudden movements to prevent the dizziness from getting worse. Captain Mills reaches out a hand and helps guide me to my feet slowly. The room spins for a brief moment, but the feeling passes and I follow Captain Mills out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

"Please, sit." Captain Mills gestures toward the small table and helps guide me down into the chair. "I'll get you some ice." She opens her freezer and empties one of the ice trays into a plastic bag. "Let's see if we can get that swelling down a bit." She hands me the bag of ice and I suck in a breath as the coolness comes into contact with the swelling underneath my eye. She smiles sympathetically and straightens up and begins to pull out some items from her fridge. "Is a sandwich okay?"

"Oh…yeah, that's fine. Thanks." I adjust the bag against my face so that it doesn't obstruct my vision. I glance over to where Captain Mills is preparing the sandwiches, and find myself reeling at the calmness that my drill instructor is exhibiting over this entire scenario. I can't help but feel as though I am in a strange grey area with Captain Mills. Here I am, sitting in her house and having her take care of me for the second time in several weeks, and I know that we are crossing some line between instructor and recruit. Mendell's words of accusation echo in my head once again, and I can't help but open my mouth and ask the question that is burning in my mind.

"Why…why are you doing all this for me?"

Captain Mills doesn't immediately reply, but I can see her pause as she is about to place the top piece of bread on the nearly-finished sandwiches she is preparing. After a brief pause, she finishes assembling them and cuts both of them neatly into two half triangles before placing them on plates and turning to place them on the table.

"You were assaulted by an officer who is part of my team. It is my responsibility to make sure you are okay, and that Sgt. Mendell is held responsible for his actions." Captain Mills replies quietly. She returns to the table with two glasses of water and places one in front of me before placing the other at the spot opposite mine, before sitting down and resting her hands on the table. "I have a general idea of what happened today, but I would like to hear your side of things, so I can have an accurate depiction of the events."

I look down at the table for a few moments, briefly considering if I should tell her exactly what Mendell had accused me of. Deciding to be honest, I look up and face Captain Mills and swallow my nerves down before coming out with it.

"Sgt. Mendell knows that I have been coming here on Sundays." I begin, chewing on my lip nervously as I pause to gauge her reaction.

Captain Mills reaches out to take a drink from her glass of water. "Yes, I imagine that he is aware. I still fail to understand how this would lead to him assaulting a recruit."

I take a breath to compose myself and continue. "He…Sgt. Mendell accused me of… _sleeping_ with you." I make the mistake of looking up again and watch as Captain Mills reacts to my statement, her body visibly stiffening in her chair as anger crosses her features.

"He what?" Her eyes flicker dangerously as she realizes the severity of the accusations, even though there is no truth to Mendell's claim.

"He called you a dyke and then accused me of sleeping with you to get promoted. He said he knew that's why I had been spending time here on Sundays." I reply, removing the bag of ice from my face and placing it on the table. "I think he was…jealous…or something."

I watch as Captain Mills pieces together the accusations against us, heat rising in her face as she struggles to comprehend the situation. Abruptly, she stands from her chair, the sound of it scraping against the floor causing me to flinch.

"Dammit Emma. He's going to use this against me." She reaches up with a shaky hand to pinch at the bridge of her nose. "And I sent him to the Commandant's office." She moves over to where her boots are placed neatly beside the door and begins to put them on, lacing them and tying them tightly once they were on. "I need to speak with the Commandant. Now." She pulls her jacket from over the back of the couch and slides it on, buttoning it with ease in seconds.

I watch nervously as she prepares to leave, glancing down at the small meal that has now been forgotten. "Should I…uh, should I go back to the barracks?"

Captain Mills pauses with her hand on the doorknob, taking in a breath to steady herself as she glances back to me. With a determined shake of her head, she sets her jaw and focuses on me. "No. Stay, please. Eat and then wait for me to return. Sgt. Mendell has clearly demonstrated he is unpredictable, and I would prefer that you remain here."

The look in her eyes has me worried, so I nod in reply. "I'll stay."

I watch as she pulls the door open and disappears into the night. The door clicks softly behind her, and I find myself all alone in my senior drill instructor's cabin, my mind reeling as I consider what has just happened. My stomach rolls nervously as I consider the damage that could be done to Captain Mills' career if Sgt. Mendell had relayed his unfounded accusations to the Commandant. My career as well. I try and push that thought out of my mind and reach for the sandwich in front of me, hoping to distract myself as I eat. A few bites in, my hunger has gotten the best of me, and I finish the sandwich quickly in several more bites. I wash it down with the glass of water and pick up my ice pack and move gingerly toward the couch.

My sore muscles protest as I sink down into the couch, settling into a comfortable position and pulling my feet up. Propping the ice pack on my cheek once again, I rest my head back against the arm of the couch, taking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly. My head is still foggy from the concussion, but the food in my stomach has helped with the nausea, and for that I am thankful. I close my eyes and try and think of the possible repercussions if Mendell has in fact shared his accusations with the Commandant. I know that Captain Mills will refute the drill instructor's accusations, but I still can't shake the unsettling feeling about the whole situation. Even though I know there is no truth to Mendell's accusations, I can't help but feel awful about this has all turned out.

My foggy brain must have been overwhelmed and given up, because the next thing I am aware of is the door slamming gently, disturbing me from my sleep once again. In my groggy state I pull the nearly melted bag of ice from my face and look across the darkened room to where Captain Mills is standing in front of the now-closed door.

"You need to go."

I shift on the couch, moving to sit as my body struggles to wake up. As I rub my face in an attempt to wake up fully, I hear booted footsteps crossing the floor and stopping in front of me. Blinking my eyes blearily I look up, immediately disheartened and anxious about the expression on Captain Mills' face.

"You need to go." She repeats, more firmly this time. "I have been accused of fraternizing with a recruit, and you _cannot_ be seen here." Her tone is desperate, and she reaches out to gently take a hold of my elbow and guide me to my feet.

"Wait…what?" I stand up and shake my head in disbelief. Had Mendell really had the balls to accuse Captain Mills of sleeping with me to the Commandant? Shit.

"You need to go back to the barracks Swan." She replies firmly, guiding me over to where my boots are propped neatly by the door. She bends down and picks them up, pressing them firmly into my stomach, causing me to grab them reflexively. "Please… _go._ "

I look up, attempting to catch her gaze to try and make sense of what is happening. She pointedly does not meet my gaze, and the steely drill instructor mask appears on her face once again. The face that I had seen on a frequent basis my first few weeks of boot camp. "Captain Mills…please…tell me what's going on."

She pauses with her hand on the doorknob, and when she finally meets my eyes, I can see anger flashing in her eyes dangerously.

"What's happening is my _career is now at stake_!" She snarls, yanking open the door. "The Commandant will be requesting a meeting with you to discuss the accusations." She shoves me toward the door, not even giving me time to pull on my boots properly. "Please, Swan, go back to the barracks, and _do not_ speak a word of this to anyone!"

I stumble out onto the porch, the wood cold against my bare feet as they make contact. Straightening up, I clutch my boots tightly into my stomach and turn around to make one last plea to talk to Captain Mills about her meeting with the Commandant. Before I can get a word in edgewise, the door is closing. I get the briefest glimpse of a tear rolling down her tanned cheek before the door slams loudly, causing me to flinch at the noise.

I am reeling, physically and mentally as I numbly pull on my boots, not even bothering to lace them up properly, and slowly start the walk back to the barracks. How could Mendell be that vindictive to bring up accusations against us that have absolutely no truth to them? I am angry at Captain Mills for throwing me out of her cabin. I am angry at myself for allowing myself to be in this situation at the first place. I couldn't have known that Sgt. Mendell would have seen me heading to meet with Captain Mills all those times, and I certainly wouldn't have expected he would spin this whole scenario into such harmful accusations.

"Fuck!" I pause at the door to the barracks, wanting a moment to myself before entering and throwing myself back into what would probably be a lot of concerned questions from Ruby and August. I'm not sure what time it is exactly but based on the moon high in the sky, it has to be late, and I find myself hoping that most of Bravo Company is asleep in their bunks. I wipe away the tears that I just noticed are burning in my eyes, wincing as my hand comes in contact with the tender area under my injured eye. With a quiet exhale, I pull open the door and enter into the large darkened room. I hear a chorus of gentle snoring and am thankful that the majority of Bravo Company is fast asleep after a long day of training.

I take the few steps to my bunk and sit down gingerly, bending to pull off my boots and push them underneath the bed frame so they are out of the way. I begin to loosen my belt so I can strip off my uniform pants and feel August stirring above me. I hear a quiet groan and the metal springs creak before August's head appears above me, peering sleepily down at me as he blinks a few times as he registers my reappearance.

"Em. Hey." He yawns. "You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks." I reply, sliding the pants down over my hips and wriggling out of them.

"You okay?" He whispers.

I can hear the concern in his voice, and I am immensely grateful for his friendship. I fold my pants neatly and lean over to place them on top of the foot locker at the end of my bunk. "I'm fine."

It's a lie and both of us know it, but August can clearly sense I don't want to discuss it, so he reaches down to give me a gentle pat on my head.

"Okay. Wake me if you need anything." He replies, pulling his arm back and rolling back into a comfortable position. The bed squeaks as he settles again, and I follow suit, pulling my legs up into my own bed and settling down, pulling the scratchy blanket up securely around my shoulders. In my concussed state, it doesn't take long before I can feel myself falling into sleep, but even as I descend into unconsciousness, I can't help but think of Captain Mills and the tear rolling down her face as she pushed me out into the night.


	7. Chapter 7

The next ten days are a blur, and I'm almost on autopilot as our company goes through its final paces toward boot camp graduation. The day to day routine is second nature at this point, and I allow myself to go through the motions with whatever the drill instructors throw our way. Physically I have healed from the incident with Sgt. Mendell, left with only a small scar above my right eyebrow, but mentally I cannot shake the turmoil that rages throughout my brain at any given time. The day after the incident I had been given precisely fifteen minutes to put on my dress uniform and report to the Commandant's office, where I stood rigidly at attention while the Commandant and several other high-ranking officers questioned me about the nature of my relationship with Captain Mills. I vehemently denied the accusations against Captain Mills of course, because there was no basis to them, but I was forced to admit that I had been spending time with her every Sunday learning how to be a better Marine. Leaving that office left me with an unsettled feeling in my stomach, but what was more unsettling was how Captain Mills was noticeably absent from the meeting. That's honestly what has been the hardest thing out of this whole situation. Mendell? Fuck him, he assaulted a recruit and the Commandant assured me there would be repercussions from it, and that he was placed on immediate leave and would no longer be part of training our company. Am I upset that it happened? Sure, but I can't get over the fact that Captain Mills was so clearly upset by the accusations and yet there has been complete radio silence between us and I haven't seen her at any of our training sessions since.

Which leads me to the present, in which I am sitting in the pouring rain on watch duty at 2am, soaked to the bone, running on four hours of sleep over the past thirty-six hours, as we head into the final day of training exercises for boot camp. Even though I should be focused on getting through the final push and graduating as a Marine, I can't help but replay the several hours that I spent in the cabin before Captain Mills unceremoniously threw me out into the night without so much as a second glance. Rain steadily drips from the bill of my cap as I glance out into the night. Phillip is on watch duty with me, but we are trying to sneak in naps wherever we can when the drill instructors are out of sight, so a quick glance to my right confirms that he is snoring quietly as he takes his turn getting some much-needed rest. These final training exercises have been rigorous physically and mentally, a lot of them simulating real-world missions that we could find ourselves in shortly. Add to it a lack of sleep and our only nutrition coming from the pre-packaged MRE's that we have been rationed, we are all decidedly cranky and ready for boot camp to be over. But the promise of our last training day and finally receiving our title of Marine is enough motivation to push through. And for me, the promise of seeing my son at graduation in just a few days is more than enough to make it through. Mary Margaret and David are flying down with him, and I can't wait to pull him into my arms and smother his handsome face in kisses.

Just as I can feel myself smiling like an idiot at the prospect of seeing my son again, a rustling noise in the bushes several feet away causes a brief moment of panic. I swiftly get to my feet and squint in the direction of the noise, attempting to see through the pouring rain into the dark night. Just as I am slipping the strap of my rifle over my shoulder, Captain Mills appears from behind a set of trees. I glance nervously to where Phillip is still sleeping, moving immediately to wake him up so that she doesn't ream us out for sleeping on the job. She holds a hand out, halting my progress.

"Swan…leave him be." Captain Mills takes a few steps closer.

I pause with my arm extended, just about to wake him up, but decide to follow orders, straightening back up as I wipe the rain from my face.

"Captain Mills." I snap to attention quickly and give her a quick salute, which she returns. I drop my gaze back to the ground before guiltily looking to where Phillip is.

"Swan, we've all been there at one point. Sleep while you can. Your secret is safe with me." She smiles briefly, adjusting the large rucksack on her back.

Seeing her again after ten days is jarring. She is as put-together as ever, despite the cool temperature and the soaking rain that has been falling for the past few hours. Even in the dark and with rain dripping down her face, she is beautiful. My heart beats faster as I remember the way in which she had taken care of me when I was injured. Even though I know that I cannot be seen near her after Mendell's asinine accusation, I am still drawn to her. But a quick glance around the area assures me that we are alone for the time being, so I can't help the words that come out of my mouth.

"It's been ten days."

The corner of her lip quirks up in amusement, and she inclines her head in response.

"It has." She takes a few steps closer. "Are you okay?" Her eyes search my face as she assesses my healing injuries. The bruising has mostly faded, so I'm sure that in the darkness she will be satisfied by what she sees.

"I'm fine." I can't meet her gaze directly, but when I feel her cool fingertips gently holding my jaw as she tilts my head so she can see my healed cut, I can't help but look down into those intense dark eyes. "I'm fine. I promise."

Her fingers trail upwards, causing goosebumps to erupt in their wake, and the feeling of one fingertip sliding softly against the small raised scar beside my brow makes me shiver. She holds my gaze as she slides her fingers against my wet cheek in a gentle caress. "I'm sorry Emma." Her apology is quiet, barely above a whisper.

Just as I am about to reply, Phillip stirs quietly beside us with a grunt. Captain Mills pulls her hand back as we both turn toward the noise, momentarily panicked about being seen in such close proximity. My heart thunders in my chest and I can't help but notice how Captain Mills takes a few steps backward. Thankfully, Phillip settles again, falling back into his gentle rhythmic snoring and we breathe twin sighs of relief.

My eyes fall back to where Captain Mills is standing, and her face has returned to its drill instructor format. Gone is the tender and caring woman that had checked my injuries just moments ago. She heaves the rucksack up slightly, wincing at the heavy weight against the small of her back as she prepares to leave.

"Wait." I reach out my hand toward her. "Can we talk?"

It's quiet, but I can hear her sigh. After a pause, she shakes her head. "Swan…we can't." She looks around, gesturing to where the rest of Bravo Company and the drill instructors are camped out just a hundred or so yards away. "The accusations against me are not to be taken lightly, and I cannot and will not put my military career or yours in jeopardy."

"Those accusations are bullshit!" I drop my head slightly in frustration. This whole situation has gotten so out of hand. "I just want to talk about what happened."

A few moments of silence pass, and I look up to find Captain Mills looking intently at me. She opens her mouth to reply but shuts it again, clearly indecisive about what she wants to say next.

"After graduation. Meet me at my cabin after graduation. We can talk then." She looks up nervously, her bottom lip between her teeth.

I nod in reply, honestly a little surprised at the offer since me going to her cabin was what caused the issues to begin with. But I'll take it if it means getting to talk about things. "Okay."

With a quick nod, she disappears back into the night, heading toward the encampment to join the drill instructors. I watch as she goes, shivering as the rain begins to soak through my jacket and into my uniform. I am glad that we will be able to resolve whatever awkwardness has been present between us. Glancing down at my watch I am happy to notice that Phillip and I only have an hour left on our watch. I pull out the now crumpled picture of Henry that has been in my pocket for the past twelve weeks. It is faded from my sweat and from rubbing against fabric, but as I run my finger across his smiling little face, I know I have just given myself the motivation to finish strong with whatever the drill instructors throw our way the last day. I'm going to be a Marine.

* * *

The last training day was as grueling as it could be, but Bravo Company marched back toward our barracks sweaty, dirty, exhausted, malnourished, but with the sweet satisfaction of having completed boot camp. After some much-needed showers, we had the next two days off to recuperate as well as practice our formations for graduation. The days passed quickly, but not fast enough as the prospect of seeing my family again seemed to make time grind to a halt. August, Ruby, and I spent the night before graduation meticulously shining our dress shoes and pressing our dress uniforms, getting them ready for final inspection and graduation.

All of Bravo Company seemed to be buzzing with excitement as the morning of graduation finally came. Things were somewhat of a blur as we made our beds for the final time and packed up our belongings into the green duffel bags we had been given at the beginning of boot camp. At nine o'clock sharp, we were standing at attention in formation along with the other companies of Marines, preparing to march onto the large parade ground to receive our insignia that would signify that we were now _officially_ Marines. There were smiles all around at the prospect of being done with our training as well as seeing all our loved ones, and I couldn't help but grin cockily as we began to march onto the parade ground. I am proud of all of us for sticking together and making it through the grueling twelve weeks of training. As we each go off our different ways for additional training with our chosen units, I know that I will keep in touch with the majority of my fellow recruits. August and I have luckily been selected to continue our training together, so I will be thankful to have a familiar face as I continue on in my military career.

There is a large crowd gathered on the grandstand that borders the parade grounds, but as we stop marching and move into parade rest as the ceremony begins, my military training kicks in and I refrain from glancing around the crowd to try and locate my family. The fact that they are here at all is enough, and I can't wait for the ceremony to finish so I can fall out and search for them. The ceremony starts with the Commandant giving a brief speech, most of which I tune out. Then the drill instructors begin to come through the ranks, giving us all a brief handshake and pinning our insignia to the lapel of our uniforms, signifying that we are now officially Marines. Sgt. Jones is the one who pins mine on, and I naturally stand a little straighter once the process is complete. He gives me a friendly wink and another handshake before he moves on to Mulan next to me. I am immensely proud to be joining this military brotherhood and to be able to protect my country for the rest of my career. This achievement feels damn good, placing a close second in my proudest moments to the day I became a mother to Henry. A few moments later, the drill instructors have completed their rounds and we are all Marines. After a few brief speeches from some officers as well as a concluding statement from the Commandant, the band strikes up the Marine's Hymn which we all sing along to lustily, reveling in the moment as the finality and satisfaction of graduation washes over us. Once we are done, we snap to attention one last time as we release a loud "Semper Fi" at the top of our lungs.

A second later, we are officially dismissed, and a loud cheer goes up as we all turn to and begin to congratulate each other. Mulan pulls me in for a crushing hug and I can't help but laugh as I look over her shoulder to find August on Ruby's back with his arms outstretched as she runs in jubilant circles. Mulan releases me and we exchange a grin and a pat on the shoulder as we part ways. I head over to celebrate with August and Ruby, laughing loudly at their antics. Once August has slipped off Ruby's back and onto solid ground again, I pull them both into hugs.

"We made it!" Ruby shouts happily.

"Semper Fi, guys." August replies as he releases me. "Go find your kid Em."

They both smile as my grin grows even wider at the thought of being reunited with my son. I call a promise to catch them again in a little bit over my shoulder as I crane my neck to look through the throng of people that are gathered. I search the crowd desperately for several seconds, until I see the familiar face of my adoptive dad grinning brightly at me as he holds my son to his hip. My heart catches in my throat as I close the distance between us, finally breaking out of the larger crowd onto the outskirts of the parade ground where I find my family waiting for me. Tears burn in my eyes as soon as Henry notices me, and I stop to crouch down as David immediately places my wiggling son on the ground.

"Mama!" Henry cries excitedly as he sprints as fast as his three-year-old legs will carry him. I can't help but choke out a sob as his body collides with mine and I pull him into my chest.

"I love you so much Henry. I missed you. I love you." I press several kisses into his dark hair as I pull him closer to me. His familiar scent of baby shampoo floods my senses and I feel a distinct sense of relief to have my son back in my arms. "Mama missed you." I release him slightly and he pulls back, grinning widely as he takes in the sight of me in my dress uniform.

"Love you mama." He leans forward and places a wet kiss on my cheek. "You a soldier now!" He says excitedly, his chubby finger reaching out to trace along the insignia on my lapel.

I laugh, wiping my tears away as I stand up and pull Henry onto my hip. "Yeah kid, I'm a soldier now." I look up to see David and Mary Margaret watching our reunion with matching smiles on their faces. "Hey guys. It's really good to see you."

Mary Margaret lets out a watery chuckle but pulls me in for a hug that lingers longer than usual. "We're so proud of you Emma."

David pulls me into his strong arms for a hug as soon as she has released me. I'm so thankful to have them in my life and for their support throughout this whole process. David gives me a quick kiss to the temple before he lets me go, stepping back a few paces to take in my uniform.

"Looking sharp there Emma." He grins, wrapping his arm around his wife.

"Thanks David." I grin in reply, turning my head slightly so that my cheek can rest on the top of Henry's head. Feeling his solid weight in my arms again is a wonderful reminder of why I decided to join the Marines. This little boy in my arms deserves a better childhood than I ever had, and the military will allow me to provide for my son in so many ways. Of course, deployments were going to be the next logical hurdle that we would have to tackle as a family but knowing that I have the support of the three people with me right now I know in this moment that everything will be fine. "I missed you guys so much."

Henry tucks his face into my neck and sighs contentedly. As I run my fingers through his hair and brush some of the hair back from his forehead, I see a familiar body clad in a dress uniform walking away from the crowd. Even though their back is to us, from the impeccably pressed uniform, the dark hair pulled back into a bun, and the almost regal posture with which she is striding away, I know it is Captain Mills. I am reminded of the fact that we have a standing arrangement to talk, and I know that I need to pass Henry back off to my parents so that I can follow through on our arrangement, hopefully allowing us to get some closure on the Mendell situation.

With another gentle kiss to Henry's forehead I move to hand him back to Mary Margaret, my heart breaking slightly at his gentle whimper as I peel his arms from around my neck. The twelve-week separation had clearly been hard on him, and I plan on spending every second of my ten-day leave making it up to him.

"I'm sorry Henry. Mama's got to take care of a few things."

Mary Margaret accepts him easily into her arms and he settles against her with a pout that made his displeasure known to all.

I give Mary Margaret and David another quick hug each. "I'm sorry guys, I need to go gather up my things from the barracks. I shouldn't be long, but I'll give you a call as soon as I'm done and then we can head to the hotel, okay?"

David claps a large hand down on my shoulder. "No problem kiddo." He gives me an easy smile before reaching over to tickle the pout from Henry's face. "Give us a call when you're all set."

With a nod, I give Henry another kiss on the forehead, satisfied at the giggles that are now coming from him, courtesy of David. I make my way through the now-dispersing crowd and toward the barracks. It feels weird to be by myself again, after twelve weeks of marching in formation from place to place. I stroll leisurely back to the barracks where I quickly grab my phone from my footlocker and gather up the duffel full of my personal belongings. I glance around the nearly empty barracks with a wistful smile. Even though I'm more than ready to sleep in a real bed instead of the rickety metal bunks, I can't help but feel some nostalgia for this building. I shoulder the duffel and push open the door for one last time, exiting into the sunshine. I turn and head toward the very familiar cabin, walking at a leisurely pace again, grateful to no longer have screaming drill instructors yelling at me to hurry up.

I'm a little nervous as I reach out to knock on the door. I don't really know what to expect from this conversation with Captain Mills but find myself excited at the prospect of spending time with her and not having the confined roles of instructor and student. Sure, she's still an officer and ranks much higher than me, but now we're both Marines. I raise my hand and knock firmly on the door a few times.

A few moments later the door opens, and Captain Mills appears. She smiles a bit nervously but gestures me inside. I enter the cabin, immediately placing my duffel beside the door. As I straighten up, I look around the cabin for a few moments, surprised to find that there are several boxes stacked in the kitchen, and a handful of open boxes on the floor in the living room area. My eyes finally land on Captain Mills, who is standing beside the kitchen counter with an unreadable expression on her face. In the time it has taken me to arrive at her cabin she has gotten rid of her dress shoes and uniform jacket, standing barefoot on the floor in her blouse and skirt. She has taken her hair out of her usually perfect bun, and I realize this is the first time I have seen her hair down. It is longer than I would have guessed, falling in sleek waves almost to the top of her shoulders. It looks soft and irresistibly smooth and for a brief moment I wonder how it would feel between my fingers.

I swallow thickly, looking around at the boxes again. "You're leaving." I take a step toward her as my brow furrows at the realization.

She looks down at the floor for a moment. "I am." She replies, raising her gaze to meet mine once again. "I've asked to be reassigned."

I take another step toward her. "But you're good at this. You're _good_ at being a drill instructor."

She smiles wistfully. "I appreciate that Swan." She brushes her hand along her skirt, smoothing it down. "But there have been certain _allegations_ about the nature of our relationship, and I thought it best to step down from being the senior drill instructor to avoid any further innuendo about my relationships with recruits."

"But _nothing actually happened_." I reply, feeling the anger rising heatedly to my cheeks. "Mendell spread straight up bullshit to the Commandant. I'll go back to the Commandant and talk to him again if I have to, but you shouldn't let some psycho jealousy-fueled drill instructor dictate the rest of your career."

Captain Mills has closed the distance between us and extends a tentative hand to rest on my forearm. I immediately glance down at the contact then look up into eyes in surprise.

"Emma. It's okay." She says with a gentle smile. "I started out my career in the Marines in a logistics unit. I haven't always been a drill instructor. It's time for a change." She gives my forearm a soft squeeze, her eyes warm but intense as she holds my gaze.

My brain has just been kicked into overdrive from her close proximity and the realization that she is leaving her position here. I can't help but struggle with my feelings on the issue, knowing that indirectly I have played a role in this whole situation. "But…b-but nothing happened." I stutter out again, shaking my head slightly as if that would help me make sense of the situation.

Captain Mills steps closer and brings her other hand up so she is now cupping both my elbows. Her thumbs begin to rub soft circles along the fabric of my uniform. As she raises her head, I notice her bottom lip is tucked between her teeth nervously. Her eyes study my face for several seconds, and I feel my face flushing under her intense scrutiny.

"Yes, nothing happened." She replies softly. She leans forward and my heart begins to pound loudly in my ears as she is now so close that I can smell the clean scent of her shampoo. "But that doesn't mean that I didn't want it to, Emma."

With her gentle admission my heart clenches in my chest. Before I realize what is happening, her hands are sliding up my arms to rest on either side of my neck and she is closing the distance between us. It's not until I feel her lips pressed against mine that my eyes flutter shut, and my arms are wrapping instinctively around her small waist as I surrender to the feeling of her lips moving sensuously against mine. After a brief moment of surprise I begin to return the kiss, no longer able to deny the attraction I feel toward this woman.

* * *

 **Sorry this is a little bit of a cliffhanger and for the wait between chapters! I was on vacation and then I was sick so this just took longer to get out than I had anticipated. Thanks for reading and for your wonderful comments!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. Hope you spent the day celebrating love and the people you love. Here's the next installment. There is a small time jump from the last chapter. Italics are flashbacks.**

 **Thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

(Eight months later)

The sun is just peaking on the horizon as I pull into my driveway. I should be tired after the simulated training we had just taken part in, part of our unit's continuing preparation for our upcoming deployment. Even though it had been a long night spent in the outdoors running through several grueling scenarios, my mind is buzzing with the prospect of our deployment and I know I need to take a long run in order to take my mind off things. As I throw my Jeep into park, I reach over and give August a gentle punch on the shoulder, stirring him from the sleep he had fallen into the moment we had left the base not even twenty minutes ago.

"We're home. Wake up."

As August groans and swipes a hand up to rub at his bleary eyes, I push open my door and hop down onto the pavement, my nose immediately taking in the crisp scent of the ocean that is just three blocks from our apartment. I close my door gently, hoping to avoid making a lot of noise so that I won't wake Henry, who should still be fast asleep at this hour. I pull open the back door to grab my rucksack and heft it easily onto my shoulder. I grin as August follows suit, although he is yawning widely as he does so. After closing up and locking the car we head into the house, quickly pulling off our boots and depositing the heavy rucksacks by the front door. The house is dark and quiet, and a quick glance into the darkened living room lets me know that Mary Margaret is curled up on the sofa bed, fast asleep.

August and I had been assigned to a military police unit in San Diego, so after spending two months finishing up our specialized training at a base in Georgia, we had packed up our stuff and made the journey out to California, with Henry joining us a week later after we had gotten settled into the house we had rented. August had become like a brother to me in boot camp, and I was immensely grateful that it worked out that we would be stationed together for our first assignment. Plus, Henry and August became the best of friends immediately, and even though I was able to find someone to watch Henry fairly quickly after arriving in San Diego, it was great to have August around to help out with Henry on a daily basis. Mary Margaret had arrived just last week, and I was lucky that she would be able to watch Henry when August and I left for our deployment in three weeks.

Heading into the kitchen, I pull open the fridge and pour myself a large glass of water. Out of the corner of my eye I see August stripping off his uniform jacket as he pads down the hallway and toward his room, clearly heading to get a few hours of sleep right away. After gulping down the cool water I head down the hallway as well, first stopping to peer into Henry's room to check on him. He's fast asleep as I knew he would be, sprawled out on his bed and tangled in his sheets. I can't help but smile affectionately as his camouflage-clad teddy bear is clutched tightly to his chest as he sleeps. That had been a gift from August for Henry's fourth birthday a couple months ago, and he rarely went anywhere without it. Satisfied that Henry is fast asleep and content, I gently close his door and head the rest of the way down the hall and into my room. Not even bothering to close the door behind me, I begin to strip off my uniform, tossing the clothes carelessly onto my bed as I do. After stripping down to my sports bra and boxer briefs, I rifle through my dresser to pull on my workout gear, consisting of a tight tan compression shirt and some olive drab running shorts. I look around my messy bedroom to locate my running shoes, finding one under the bed and one over by my laundry hamper. Pulling them on, I lace them up and tie them tight, before pulling my earbuds from my bedside table and slipping my phone into my pocket.

Mary Margaret is stirring on the couch as I pass by, and I stop to whisper a quiet "good morning" to her which is sleepily returned. Bending down, I press a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"Going for a run. I'll be back in a bit."

She nods and sits up, reaching her arms out to stretch as she does.

"I'll put the coffee on. Breakfast will be ready when you get back." She replies with a yawn.

"Thanks MM. Henry was good last night?"

She smiles. "Of course. An angel as usual."

I roll my eyes at my adoptive mother good-naturedly. Of course my energetic terror-of-a-son was good for his grandmother. If only he could be that good for me on a regular basis. I love my son, but he was too energetic for his own good, and capable of mass destruction, given the opportunity.

"You gotta teach me your tricks sometime." I grin back at her.

Mary Margaret waves her hand dismissively. "Emma, honey, you forget that I've spent nearly thirty years teaching twenty-five first-graders at a time."

I chuckle at her response as I head to pull open the front door. "I'll see you in a bit." With a wave I head outside, closing the door behind me before pausing in the driveway to run through a handful of stretches to prepare my muscles for running. After stretching for a few minutes, I put the earbuds in and scroll through my phone to find my favorite playlist, turning up the volume loudly as I press play. With a gentle exhale, I start jogging at a brisk pace down the street and begin my regular running route down towards the ocean. Since moving to California, I've taken to running on the beach, loving being so close to the ocean and the feel of the sand beneath my feet. Running has become my favorite way to clear my head and to release the stress that comes from the long hours of patrols or manning the entry checkpoint at the naval base we are stationed at. Being in the military has been a strange mix of routine monotony and exhilaration, and although the prospect of deployment and leaving Henry behind was looming, I was excited to get a taste of some _actual_ combat experience, even if the idea was slightly terrifying.

After twenty minutes or so of running at a solid clip on the beach, my muscles are feeling the pleasant burn of exertion. My dog tags jostle against my chest with each step, and I can feel the sweat streaming down my back and soaking into my shirt. Glancing at my watch, I decide that I'm at a good halfway point and turn around and follow my footprints in the sand back to the starting point. Usually, running will calm the turmoil in my brain, but today it doesn't seem to be having that calming effect. The idea of leaving my son behind for another six months seems nearly impossible. The three months I was gone for boot camp was tough, and I knew that being away for twice as long was going to be near impossible. Having Henry here in California was amazing, and I know that I am lucky to be able to spend time with my son no matter how tired I get from the seemingly nonstop training schedule our unit has had as of late. Adjusting to our new military life had been a bit of a learning curve but seeing my son's smiling face every day and getting hugs and kisses from him makes every sacrifice worth it.

As I finish my run and slow to a walk, breathing heavily as I start to cool down, I make my way closer to the water. The sun has risen enough in the sky and is making the ocean shimmer with the first golden rays of the day. It's a sight that I never get tired of, although watching the sun set over the Pacific is an equally awe-inspiring sight as I've come to learn. Still panting slightly, I plop down in the cool sand and look out over the calm ocean, pulling the earbuds out so I can hear the waves breaking gently over the shore. I raise my hand to wipe the sweat from my brow and notice movement to my left. I glance over my shoulder a bit and watch as a dark-haired woman jogs briskly by me, offering a brief smile in greeting as she passes. Something about her athletic build and dark hair makes me think of Captain Mills, and the turmoil begins to build in my head once again.

Regina.

I can't help but sigh as I remember the last interaction I'd had with the dark-haired woman who had kissed me with such intensity in her cabin that day. My mind drifts back to the moment when I first felt her lips on mine.

 _It's not until I feel her lips pressed against mine that my eyes flutter shut, and my arms are wrapping instinctively around her small waist as I surrender to the feeling of her lips moving sensuously against mine. After a brief moment of surprise I begin to return the kiss, no longer able to deny the attraction I feel toward this woman._

 _I allow myself to be lost in the feeling of soft lips moving against mine, and after many months of celibacy, I quickly feel my arousal stirring to life once Captain Mills moves her hands slightly, leaving one possessively against the back of my neck while the other one moves to my cheek, her thumb sliding softly against my heated skin. I pull her closer to me without thinking, enjoying the feeling of her warm body pressing against mine as I continue to kiss her. She deepens the kiss and for a moment I let her, her tongue moving in a sensuous rhythm against mine. My brain is in overdrive, both exhilarated at the feelings that are being stirred up by her sinful tongue, but after a moment I also register confusion, and I pull back slightly, effectively breaking the kiss. I am panting slightly and lean in to give her another gentle peck on the lips before resting my forehead against hers._

 _"What are we doing Captain Mills?" I breathe out shakily. "Not that I didn't enjoy that, but I came here to talk."_

 _She exhales slowly, her breath warm against my cheek as she opens her eyes. "Please, call me Regina. I'm no longer your drill instructor." Her eyes are darker than usual, and she seems to be struggling with something internally. She closes her eyes for a brief moment then pulls back, removing her hand from my cheek to gesture toward the couch. "We should talk. Have a seat. Please?"_

 _I release my arms from around her waist with a nod, following her across the kitchen to the couch, where I drop down and settle against one end. She follows suit, sitting at the other end and angling herself so we can see each other better. My heart is thrumming in my chest, a result of the kiss we shared just moments ago as well as my close proximity to the beautiful brunette sitting across from me._

 _I smile nervously at her. "So…we kissed."_

 _She smiles in reply, her tanned face blushing in a telltale manner as she raises her hand to smooth back a few hairs and tuck them behind her ear. "We did."_

 _My brow furrows as I struggle to focus on the things I came here to talk about before I was surprisingly (but pleasantly) distracted by my former drill instructor. "H-how long?"_

 _I look over to where Regina has started to fiddle with a ring on her finger distractedly. She twists it around her finger a few times and then looks up again. "If I'm being completely honest, since the first time I saw you."_

 _I swallow thickly as I struggle to consider the fact that she has been attracted to me since day one. "Wait…so all of this was just a way to seduce me?" Anger rises heatedly to my cheeks. "Holy shit."_

 _My thoughts are prevented from spiraling out of control when a tanned hand reaches out to rest on my thigh, causing me to look up into Regina's eyes once again._

 _"Emma, stop. Please." She says quietly. "I can assure you that our meetings started out with the best of intentions. I would_ never _use my position of leadership in that way, I assure you." She pauses as her thumb begins to stroke gently in reassurance. "When I first saw you, I immediately couldn't deny the fact that you are a beautiful and strong woman. I truly saw potential in you that I felt was being wasted. It wasn't until you came to my cabin for our first meeting and I read your essay about leadership and being a Marine that I got a glimpse of the woman that you are. And I couldn't help but admire the woman you are, and I had to push away those feelings and try and be the drill instructor that I am trained to be. But it was extremely hard to maintain that professional line Emma, especially as the weeks went on and I learned more about you." Regina pauses for a moment, her eyes searching mine earnestly. "When Mendell made those accusations, I was afraid it would be so obvious. I had to step away Emma, for the sake of your career and mine."_

 _As Regina's confession began to register in my jumbled brain, I struggled to come to grips with the fact that my senior drill instructor had apparently harbored an attraction on me for the entirety of boot camp. Of course, I was attracted to Regina as well, but I never once considered that we would be sitting here on a couch discussing the ways in which we had fallen for each other. I shook my head in disbelief, still not believing that this was actually happening. When I came Regina's cabin, I simply wanted to clear the air between us, and I certainly hadn't anticipated the kiss that had happened moments ago. But in all honesty, it was probably the best kiss of my life, and the harsh reality that I was leaving to join my family for my ten-day leave before heading off to continue my training was staring me right in the face._

 _"I…Regina…I'm leaving." I reach down to take hold of the hand on my thigh, squeezing gently._

 _"I know Emma." She replies with a wistful smile. "I wasn't expecting to kiss you when you came here today. I don't know what I was expecting exactly, but once I saw you, I needed to tell you how I felt." She looks down for a second at our joined hands. "The timing of this is terrible, I know."_

 _My phone chimes in my pocket, reminding me just how terrible the timing is. I pull it out and check it, finding a text from David, wanting to know where I am and where I should meet them. With a quiet sigh, I pocket the phone again, hesitantly looking up into gentle brown eyes._

 _"Regina, I have to go. Henry…my son is waiting for me."_

 _Regina drops her head in defeat but raises it again to nod in reply. She gives my hand one last squeeze and stands from the couch, walking back into the kitchen and leaning against the counter as I collect myself and stand from the couch to go collect my duffel bag from where it is propped against the wall by the door. After hefting it easily onto my shoulder I reach out and pull the door open. Just as I'm about to leave, I pause, turning back to take one last look at the gorgeous brunette._

 _She pushes off from the counter and crosses the distance between us, pulling me into her arms once again. I allow my face to rest against her neck, taking a moment to breathe in the scent that will probably haunt my dreams for the next several months._

 _"Take care Emma." She whispers. "I'm so sorry."_

 _I pull back, meeting her gaze again for a moment. "Don't be." With a gentle smile, I pull her close again for one last hug, then release her. Just as I turn to leave again, she catches my wrist and pulls me close, leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to my cheek._

 _"Semper Fi, Emma." She says quietly, reaching up with one finger to trace along the shiny new insignia on my uniform before she backs away._

 _My cheek is burning from where her lips made contact, and I know I have to leave now before I lose my will to do so. Adjusting the duffel on my shoulder again, I head outside onto the porch and down the stairs, willing myself not to look back for one last glimpse of my former drill instructor. Once I am several paces away, I hear the door shutting behind me, and I force myself to walk away from the beautiful woman who I'd probably never see again._

As I watch the waves rolling gently against the shore, I can't help but replay those last moments with Captain Mills over and over in my head. I know that we couldn't have pursued anything in those fleeting minutes we had in her cabin after graduation, but I can't help but feel as though I had missed a wonderful opportunity to be with an amazing woman. In the eight months that have passed, I have gone on a few casual dates at the urging of Mary Margaret and August, but I find myself comparing every person to Regina, and that ultimately sets up any prospective relationship to fail from the start.

Just as I start to wonder about where Regina had ended up after leaving her position as a drill instructor, I realize that I need to stop my thoughts from spiraling too far as it is time to head back to the house, now that the sun has risen higher in the sky. Shaking my head to clear the distracting thoughts of a certain brunette, I stand and brush the wet sand from my shorts, heading back to the house to spend the morning eating breakfast and watching cartoons with my son. With the impending deployment, I needed to focus on spending every moment with him.

* * *

Three weeks passed quickly, and before I knew it, I was filing off a bus with the rest of my platoon in front of a large hangar at the base as we prepared to board the large C-130 that would take us first to Germany and then Iraq. Tears were prickling in my eyes as I scanned the large crowd of our families and friends that had gathered to say goodbye before we boarded the large grey plane. I quickly located Mary Margaret, who predictably had Henry perched on her hip as he clutched his favorite teddy to his chest. Forcing my biggest smile, I make my way over to them, immediately clutching Henry to my chest as my heart constricts at the idea of saying goodbye to my son for at least six months.

"I love you so much Henry." I clutch desperately at the fabric of his shirt as he clings to me, his face resting in the crook of my neck. "I'll be home as soon as I can, okay?"

Henry clearly senses my emotional state and clings tighter to me. "Don't go mama. I miss you."

My heart breaks as my son pleads with me for a few more minutes not to leave him, and I can't help it as tears begin to stream down my face. Closing my eyes, I rest my cheek against the crown of his head. "I'm so sorry Henry. I have to go. Mama and Uncle August need to go take care of the bad guys." I press a kiss to the crown of his head and pry him back so I can kiss his sweet little cheeks a few last times. "I love you Henry. Be good for Grammy, okay?"

Henry sniffles and nuzzles against my neck again as he nods in reply. I know I need to pass him off and go gather my belongings and head to board the plane. I kiss him one last time and pass him off to Mary Margaret who is also crying.

"You come home safe Emma." She pulls me in tightly the best she can with Henry in her arms. "Promise me you'll come home safe."

I wrap my arms around my adoptive mother and promise her that I will do everything in my power to come home safe. "I love you mom."

She pulls back with a teary smile. I don't call her mom often, but in this moment it felt right. She pulls me in for one more desperate hug as our unit commander calls for us to wrap it up. I give Mary Margaret and Henry a kiss on the cheek each and try and steady myself as I attempt to wipe away the tears on my face.

"I love you both. I'll call as soon as I can."

It takes every ounce of effort in my body to walk away from my son, knowing full well that I will be in a war zone and putting myself in harm's way for the next six months. I knew that the first deployment was going to be tough, but nothing prepared me for the crushing feeling in my chest as I turned my back and walked away from my crying son and Mary Margaret. As I make my way to pick up my fully-loaded rucksack and duffel containing my belongings for the next sixth months, August falls into step beside me, wrapping his arm around me and giving me a comforting squeeze.

"You okay?"

"Not really." I reply, leaning down to pull the heavy rucksack over my shoulders. "It's going to be a long deployment August."

He shoulders his own rucksack with a quiet grunt. "Yeah, it is." He reaches out to hand me the duffel labeled "Swan." "At least we get to do this together."

"True." I take the bag from him and shoulder it with a grimace. We walk across the tarmac towards the large plane, falling into silence as our combat boots slap against the hard surface. As we wait in line to board the plane, I glance around, realizing that this will be the last time I am on American soil for six months. Steeling myself for the epic journey ahead, I take a large breath and exhale slowly, before setting foot on the metal boarding ramp and accepting my fate.

* * *

The next twenty-four hours are a blur. I sleep fitfully as the earplugs we have been given don't do much to drone out the noise of the plane's loud engines. After a relatively calm flight, we land at a base in Germany to stretch our legs for a few hours as the plane refuels. The atmosphere is tense as we load back onto the C-130. We know that we are now headed directly into a war zone where we will be staying for the immediate future. The gravity of the situation has definitely hit me, and I am emotionally and physically exhausted. As the plane rumbles down the runway and into the sky, I pull out the picture of Henry that I have stashed in my pocket, just as I had at boot camp. He is my motivation for all of this. I give the picture a quick kiss and place it back into my pocket. Adjusting my rucksack behind me, I lean back and attempt to get some more sleep as the plane continues to ascend to cruising altitude.

A handful of hours later I am jostled awake by one of the platoon officers.

"Wakey wakey Swan. Buckle up, we're about to land in Baghdad." He gives me another gentle shake before moving down the line to wake up the rest of the guys.

Holy shit. I was about to land in a war zone. I get up from my makeshift bed and pull out my Kevlar vest and helmet from where they are strapped to my rucksack. My heart is pounding as the adrenaline begins to course through my veins and I make sure my vest and helmet are properly secured on my body before settling down in one of the seats in the center of the cargo bay and strapping in for the rest of the descent. The rest of the guys begin to follow suit as the plane makes several sharply banked turns as it prepares for approach, and after a few moments we are all strapped in and riding the waves of adrenaline as the realization hits us that we are now officially on deployment.

About ten minutes later the plane jolts as it touches down on the runway. I take a glance at my watch to get some indication of what time of day it is. The plane taxis for a few moments before coming to a stop, and we wait for the order to get out of our seats before standing up and collecting our belongings and filing into a line to await the ramp being opened so we can exit the plane and get our first glimpse of Iraq. The ramp slowly lowers, and we are greeted with darkness as we have landed in the middle of the night apparently. It's warm, as one would expect from the desert, and I can feel the sweat beginning to trickle down my back underneath the full weight of my loaded rucksack, the Kevlar vest, and helmet. As we file off the plane, I can hear gunfire in the distance, and I momentarily second-guess my decision to join the military. August catches up with me, and we exchange exhausted grins even though the nerves are causing my stomach to roll considerably. We walk across the tarmac feeling the heat radiating into the soles of our boots as we follow the crowd toward one of the large tan hangars set up along the edge of the runway. I glance around, trying to get a feel for the surrounding area, seeing several squat military buildings gathered in clusters. The base is enclosed by large cement walls and is actually fairly large. This base is used as a launching point for several other bases in the middle east and there are several different types of aircraft parked over the spacious airfield waiting to transport troops to various areas. A bead of sweat makes its way down my face and I sigh as I realize that this is likely going to be the norm for the next several weeks, if not months. Our unit was going to be staying at this base to get familiarized with operations in the area for the near future, although the plan was to join up with a few other combat groups at another base in Afghanistan.

"Alright guys, listen up!" Lieutenant Humbert, our platoon leader calls out. Graham was a good guy and we all respected him and his laid-back command style. "Let's get organized and then we'll give out bunk assignments and you guys can hit the rack for a while. It's been a long couple of days, but let's get through the basic stuff so we can all get some sleep."

Our platoon gathers around and listens as Graham goes over some of the basic safety items that need to be addressed now that we are in an area of potential conflict. He tells us a basic timeline of the next few days which will be spent getting acclimated to this new base before we jump into specific training for our upcoming missions in Afghanistan. He thankfully keeps it short and sweet and before long he is calling out bunk assignments and dismissing us to get some much-needed rest. Unlike boot camp they separate us by gender, so I head over to one of the designated women's bunks to find my room and settle in. As I follow a few of the other women from my platoon I can't help but try and wrap my mind around the fact that I am actually here in Iraq. So many months of preparation had gone into this deployment, and while it felt good to finally be here after the buildup, there was a certain level of apprehension given the potential for danger. Pushing open the slightly primitive plywood door to the women's barracks, I follow the narrow hallway to room 104, where I will be spending the near future. The accommodations are functional if nothing else, a fact that I realize as I take in the slightly ramshackle hallways and worn doors. Stopping in front of my door, I glance around and watch as my fellow soldiers enter their assigned rooms and disappear from view. Reaching out, I pull open the door, fumbling around on the wall for a second as I attempt to flip on the lights. I deposit my duffel with a groan as the lights flicker on.

Just as I am depositing my rucksack onto one of the empty bunks, I hear a quiet groan from the bunk across the narrow room.

"Sorry." I call out quietly. "I'll turn it back off in a minute." With my back to the room, I lean over to open my rucksack and pull out my toiletry kit before rifling around at the bottom for a fresh t-shirt and shorts which would be sufficient for sleeping in. Straightening up, I turn to ask my roommate to point me in the direction of the bathroom.

As soon as I turn around, I drop my toiletry kit in surprise. Standing a few feet away, sleep-mussed and blinking sleepily, is none other than Captain Regina Mills.


	9. Chapter 9

"Holy shit."

That is about as eloquent as I can get, given the fact that the woman I'd never thought I'd see again is currently standing in front of me. Regina is in a black sports bra and the standard-issue olive drab military running shorts, rubbing her eyes as she seemingly struggles to pull herself out of her sleepy state to process the fact that we are now apparently going to be roommates.

"Emma?"

I take a step closer to her, not able to prevent the grin from appearing on my face as she yawns widely, her eyes becoming more focused as I get within a couple paces of her.

"Hey Captain Mills. Sorry I woke you." My heart flutters in my chest at the sight of my former drill instructor, and I let my eyes wander over the dark-haired woman in front of me. Even in the poorly-lit space, it was easy to notice the darker tan on the woman's face and arms, likely from time spent in the desert on her current deployment. The tan stopped near her biceps, obviously where the uniform shirtsleeves lay on a daily basis, and given her current state of undress, I could see that the rest of her upper body and abdomen lacked the tanned skin. Her abdomen was as toned as I remembered from that time in boot camp when I'd seen her changing her t-shirt after the physical fitness test in which she had easily beaten my ass in the run. But standing so close, I notice a jagged scar that wrapped around the left side of her abdomen, one that I had not noticed in the mere seconds I had seen her changing that day. Her legs are toned and tan, probably from hours spent doing PT under the intense desert sun. Her feet are bare, and as I take in the whole picture of the woman standing before me, half asleep, I can't help but smile at the difference in the way I was seeing Regina now. I had never seen her in such a state of disarray, used to seeing her squared away and in drill instructor mode.

"How…how are you here?" Regina's brow furrows slightly, and she reaches out a tentative hand, as if to check to make sure this isn't a dream and that I'm actually standing in front of her. It lands on my forearm, her palm warm against my skin.

"Deployment. My unit just landed. We're going to be stationed here for the next month or so before we ship out to Afghanistan."

Regina looks up at me and I'm immediately drawn to those intensely dark eyes. As they connect with mine, I can no longer resist and pull her gently to me, wrapping her up in my arms and resting my forehead on her shoulder. She smells like shampoo and soap and the feel of her soft skin beneath my palms is better than I could have anticipated. Exhaling slowly, I feel her hands clutching tightly at the straps of my Kevlar vest as she melts into the embrace.

"You're here. I thought I'd never see you again." She murmurs quietly against me. "You're here."

Pulling back, I press a soft kiss along her hairline. "I'm here." Shaking my head in disbelief at how crazy it is that we would be reunited all these months later halfway around the world, I let out a soft chuckle. "This is crazy."

Regina smiles and nods. "It is." Her hands move along the straps of my vest for a moment before she slides her fingers beneath the Velcro that secures it and begins to separate it so she can help me take off the bulky object. It's an oddly sweet gesture, but one that feels slightly strange at the same time. I shimmy out of the vest and she places it on the floor beside my bunk before reaching out and pulling me to her again, sighing softly as she fits her body snugly against mine, this time without the bulky bulletproof vest between us. "I feel like this is a dream."

My thumbs rub small circles where my hands are splayed on either side of her ribs, and I feel the raised skin of her scar beneath the pad of my thumb as it moves. As I breathe in Regina's clean scent again, I close my eyes in contentment. Even in my exhausted and jet-lagged brain, I knew that we were not going to be able to act on anything due to the strictly enforced "no fraternization on deployment" rule that had been hammered into our brains, but right now all that I cared about was how natural it felt to have Regina in my arms once again. It was better than any of my dreams over the past several months. Taking in another soft breath I still my hands against her warm skin, suddenly feeling self-conscious at my sweaty and travel-weary body. I'd been in my uniform for over twenty-four hours and after being crammed on a plane for the majority of that time, I was definitely overdue for a shower to wash away the grime and accumulated sweat.

"Go back to sleep Regina." I tell her. "I'm very happy to see you but I _really_ need a shower." I wrinkle my nose a bit. "I smell like sweat and the BO of fifty other guys after being crammed in that C-130."

She laughs in reply, pulling back as requested with a soft smile. "The showers are down the hall to the right." She bends down and picks up my toiletry kit from where I had dropped it, handing it to me once she straightens up.

"Thanks." I toss the kit onto my bunk for a second as I begin to strip off my uniform jacket. I watch as Regina crosses the small room and settles gently into her bunk again. I finish gathering my things and prepare to leave the room. "I'm really glad you're here Regina." I flip off the lights and pull open the door. "Get some sleep. We can catch up tomorrow, okay?"

In the sliver of light from the hallway I can see her yawning sleepily as she burrows deeper into her sleeping bag.

"I'm glad you're here too Emma. I look forward to it." Dark eyes flutter shut. "Goodnight."

I close the door softly and head down the hall until I find the showers. It's a pretty primitive set up but once the water is flowing from the showerhead and I'm standing under the lukewarm spray, I can't help but sigh contentedly. As I lather up my hair and begin to rinse it, I can feel the emotional and physical exhaustion of the past couple days hitting me hard. It seems like weeks ago that I was standing on the tarmac at the base saying goodbye to Henry and Mary Margaret. And now, here I am, halfway across the world in a war zone, showering in a makeshift shower. As I think back about the dark-haired woman that I will now be sharing a room with, I can't help but chuckle and think that life is strange. But I'd be a fool not to make the most of every minute with a woman like Regina Mills, that much is clear.

I finish up showering quickly, glad to be rid of the grimy feeling that long hours of travel often bring. Throwing on a fresh pair of shorts and a t-shirt feels pretty great, and I gather up my things and head down the hallway back to my room. It's dark, but the soft even breathing from across the room tells me that Regina is fast asleep again, so I decide to deal with sorting my things out tomorrow. With a big yawn, I pull my damp hair up into a messy bun and pull my sleeping bag out from where it was strapped to my rucksack. I roll it out on the bare mattress and immediately collapse onto it with a grateful groan. Even though it is an unfamiliar bed and place, I can't fight the exhaustion anymore and quickly fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

After a much-needed eight-hour nap, I woke up to the gentle sound of my watch alarm. The room was dark, but after stretching my arms up over my head I craned my neck slightly to find Regina's bunk already empty. I was slightly disappointed but knowing her rank I'm sure she had people to be in charge of, so she likely wouldn't still be in bed at 9am. I rose out of bed and swiftly got my things organized in the small shared space. Now that it was daylight, I took a moment to look around the room. There were four beds set up around the walls, but it looked as though it was just Regina and I for the time being, as the other two beds lay bare and unoccupied. Regina's bunk was neatly squared away, with no personal items visible. I pulled a couple of Henry's drawings out of my rucksack and placed them on my bed, hoping to remember to put them up later beside my bunk for a few personal touches to remind me of home. Glancing at my watch again, I knew I needed to hurry up and get my uniform on and head out for our 9:30am formation. I hauled my ass into gear and began to get ready for my first official day of deployment.

The day turned out to be busy, serving to make sure we are familiar with operations on the base, even if it would be our temporary home. The base was larger than I had realized, and housed a fair amount of troops permanently, plus some transient units that were either coming and going from other areas in the Middle East. I quickly learned just how hot the desert actually is in the middle of the day and was grateful of the air conditioning units that churned away in the common areas to keep us somewhat cool, even if it was still hovering around eighty degrees indoors. I resigned myself to the fact that a lot of this deployment was going to be spent covered in sweat, that much was clear.

After a jam-packed day, the officers released us for the evening, pointing us in the direction of the chow hall to get some dinner. August met up with a few of the other guys from our platoon and grabbed a table as I hopped into line and began to pile my plate high with food. Filling up a few cups with water and Powerade in order to replenish some of the fluids that I had sweat out throughout the day, I steady my tray and glance around the large cafeteria-style room. Just before my eyes get to the table that August and the guys are saving, I notice Regina sitting by herself a few tables away. Excited at the prospect of catching up a bit with her, I decide on skipping sitting with the guys and head toward her.

"Hey. Mind if I join you?"

Regina looks up in surprise, but immediately her surprise turns to a soft smile. She nods and gestures for me to take a seat, which I do after carefully placing my tray on the metal table. "Good evening, Lance Corporal Swan."

I grin, surprised at how she has noticed my recent promotion right off the bat. "Yeah, that happened the week before we deployed." I pick up my fork and begin to eat my food. After a few bites I look up and find Regina watching me.

"You have done quite well for yourself it seems," She begins. "How are you adjusting to life on the base so far?"

We launch into an amiable conversation. Regina had left her drill instructor post to join up with a logistics unit that was headed into deployment and had been deployed to the middle east for the past six months. She was here in Iraq for another three weeks as her unit transitioned leadership to another, and then was headed back stateside. I learned that this was her second combat tour, and that she had been deployed previously right after she had graduated from the Naval Academy. She seemed somewhat uneasy when I tried to ask more about her prior deployment, so I tried to steer the conversation in another direction when I saw the strained look on her face. It's still extremely strange to be sitting and having dinner with Regina after all those months in which I couldn't stop thinking about how I had missed my chance with her.

A short while later we have both finished up our dinners and have headed back out into the oppressive heat to head to the other side of the base where our room is located. We start the walk in silence, but after a few moments Regina asks a question.

"Do you have more training this evening?"

I shake my head. "No. Humbert said to take it easy tonight since we're gonna jump headfirst into manning the security checkpoint tomorrow."

In my peripheral vision I can see her reaching up to adjust the brim of her cap against the waning sunlight. She doesn't reply but I can see her nodding slowly in reply. It's quiet again for the rest of the walk, and with each step we take toward our room I can feel a certain tension beginning to mount. We finally make it to the building and enter silently, passing through the narrow hallway until we get to our room. I reach forward to pull the door open, gesturing for Regina to enter the room first. I flip on the light as soon as she is through the door and follow suit, entering the small room.

I watch as Regina moves over to her bunk and sits down, beginning to strip off her jacket and boots. I lean back against the door and watch as she completes her tasks methodically, hanging her uniform jacket neatly on a hanger and pushing her boots under the bed frame and out of the way. She lifts her hands and begins to loosen her hair from her bun, and I watch as dark waves come loose and fall to frame her face. Once she is done, she rolls her neck as if releasing all the tension from her day and then raises her face to meet my gaze, her face flushing slightly as she realizes I have been watching her every move.

I smile, feeling my face flushing too.

"I want to kiss you." I push off from the wall, figuring that I would just go with a direct approach in tackling the elephant in the room. I move to sit on my bunk, unlacing my boots before pulling them off. I straighten up and turn to the side so I can gauge her reaction.

"The feeling is mutual Emma." She replies quietly, tucking her bottom lip between perfectly white teeth.

I unbutton my jacket slowly, trying to put my thoughts into order as I do so. Once it is off, I untuck my shirt from my pants and stand from my bed, crossing the distance and moving to sit down next to Regina, angling myself and tucking one leg up onto the bed casually. Reaching out, I brace myself with one arm on the bed beside her and lean forward, intently studying every inch of her face as I consider my next move.

"Do you believe in fate? Or like, destiny?"

Regina's brow furrows at my question and I instinctively reach up with my free hand to smooth away the wrinkles that are temporarily marring her gorgeous face with my thumb for a few seconds. She leans into the touch and her eyes flutter shut as I move my hand to cup her cheek.

"No." She replies softly. "I don't."

I swipe my thumb gently across the scar on her upper lip and this action causes her eyes to flutter open and connect with mine.

"Well, I think I do. How else can you explain this? Explain us?" I pause to gather my thoughts. "When I left your cabin that last time, I thought I'd never see you again. This connection I feel to you…it's crazy Regina. But I can't help but think that us having this time here, even if its just a few weeks, it's fate. It's gotta be."

Her eyes search mine intently for a moment, and I can see the apprehension clearly written all over her face. She opens her mouth to speak, and when she does, the words that come out are in all honesty a bit of a surprise.

"This _cannot_ leave this room Emma. Our relationship cannot leave these four walls. Do you understand me?" She reaches up and takes hold of my wrist, swiping her thumb across my skin a few times. "I need you to promise me."

I nod and lean forward to press my forehead against hers. Our soft breathing is the only sound in the room.

"I promise Regina. Can I kiss you now?"

She lets out a soft laugh at that, but nods and closes the small distance between us so that her lips touch mine in the sweetest kiss. I can feel her smiling into the kiss, and after eight months of pining for this woman, it feels amazing to be so close to her again. After a moment I break the kiss, pulling back slightly and pushing a few strands of hair behind Regina's ear.

"I never thought I'd be able to do that again." I duck my head and tuck my face into the sweet-smelling skin where her neck meets her shoulder. I feel her relax into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me closer. I scoot forward a bit to accommodate the embrace, sighing happily as I do and bringing one hand up to trace patterns along Regina's back.

"Me either." Regina replies, pressing a kiss to my temple. "This is very unexpected."

We spend a few moments just enjoying being close to one another. A short while later, I find myself fighting a losing battle with jet lag, no longer unable to stifle the yawns that are making their appearance. When I finally realize my need to sleep, I am a bit upset to have to release Regina and move to my own bed. With another yawn I pull my arms from around her, leaning in to peck her on the cheek before I scoot back a bit.

"Jet lag sucks." I mutter, pulling the hair tie out of my hair and rearranging it into a messy bun. "I _really_ need to get some sleep."

Regina smiles sympathetically before chuckling. She rubs her hand along my bicep affectionately before giving it a gentle squeeze. "Go on…get ready for bed then."

I follow instructions, reluctantly standing up and heading over to my bunk area. Squatting down, I locate a fresh t-shirt to sleep in and begin to strip off my uniform piece by piece. Once I'm down to my sports bra and boxer briefs, I toss on the t-shirt and sit down on the edge of my bed to gather my toothpaste and toothbrush so I can go brush my teeth before settling in. But as soon as I am on the bed, a wave of exhaustion hits and I can't help as my body slumps down to the side and onto the bed. Picking my feet up, I drop the toothbrush and toothpaste onto the floor with a gentle clatter which elicits a quiet chuckle from the brunette across the room as I tuck my feet up onto the bed so I'm settled on my side.

"Will you judge me if I'm too tired to brush my teeth?" I turn my head slightly so I can look across the room, watching as Regina slips off her uniform pants. The sight of her in black panties makes me swallow thickly and I turn my head back before she can notice that I was watching her again.

"Your secret is safe with me." She assures from across the room. My eyes shut as I hear her bare feet padding across the floor, and the light flickers off as she flips the switch, throwing the room into darkness. Quiet footsteps head back toward the other end of the room but stop after a few steps. I can feel Regina's presence rather than hear her, and I open my eyes to find her squatting beside my bed. She reaches out, brushing her knuckles down my cheek before leaning down to kiss me softly. "Goodnight Emma."

I smile sleepily as she pulls away and heads for her own bed. As I drift off into sleep, I can't help but thank my lucky stars that fate has brought us back together, even if it's just for a short while. I knew that it would be difficult to maintain professional boundaries, but as long as we were in the confines of our room, I planned on making every moment with Regina count.

* * *

 **Hey guys! Thanks for reading. Just wanted to say that we are definitely headed into M territory from here on out with this story, so a heads up to those of you who aren't really into that type of thing.**

 **As always, thanks for your reviews and comments. This has been fun to write so far, and it is far from over.**


	10. Chapter 10

**From this point on, the story will definitely firmly earn the M rating. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The sun is just beginning to cast the military base in a golden glow as it rises into the sky. Pushing open the door to the women's barracks I yawn widely, feeling extremely thankful that in a few moments I will be able to fall into my bunk. Our first week on the base my unit had been assigned to manning the security checkpoint for the base entry. It had been a good opportunity to get a feel for the type of work we would be responsible for over the course of our deployment, but it had been on the night shift, which meant that my time with Regina over the past several days had been limited. She had just two weeks left before she headed back stateside, and we had really only seen each other in passing as I came back to our room in the mornings or when she was getting ready for bed as I was preparing to head out to report for duty. My unit's responsibilities would be changing next week and would be moving back to the day shift, so I was grateful for the next twenty-four hours off that we had been given to help start to switch our sleep schedules back to daytime. I was hoping that the day off as well as being back on a similar schedule to Regina would allow us to be able to spend more time together.

Heading down the narrow hallway toward our room, I take off my cap and begin to unstrap my Kevlar vest. I push open the door to our room and enter the darkened room. It was just after 5am, and I knew that Regina would still be sleeping, and as I cast a glance to the far wall, I see her curled up in her bunk and fast asleep. I try and be as quiet as I can as I deposit my Kevlar vest on the floor beside my bed and sit down to take off my boots. I want to fall right into bed, but I decide to head over to the shower to rinse off before I do so. I gather up my shower things and a clean shirt and underwear to change into and head for the shower area down the hall.

After a quick shower and brushing my teeth, I head back to our room. As I pull the door open and close it gently behind me, I hear Regina stirring in her bunk. Just as I am pulling my towel from around my neck to hang it up to dry, I hear her sleepy voice calling softly to me.

"Emma?" There is more rustling as I look up and find her facing me, her eyes blinking sleepily in the darkened room.

"Morning." I twist my damp hair into a messy bun and cross the room to sit on the edge of her bed. Leaning down, I give her a gentle kiss on the forehead in greeting. "Sorry I woke you."

"S'okay." Regina yawns and scoots back against the wall slightly. "What time is it?"

I brush a few strands of dark hair behind her ear, smiling at how adorable Regina is when she's half-asleep. "Almost 5:30. I'll let you get back to sleep." I lean down to kiss her again, but just as I'm about to pull away so I can head over to my bunk I feel her hand on the back of my neck pulling me in closer so she can deepen the kiss.

After a few moments she pulls back, sighing contentedly as her eyes flutter open. "Stay." She scoots her body back and pats the bed, indicating that she wants me to join her in bed. After a week of barely seeing her, I waste no time and pull the edge of her blanket up so that I can slip into bed beside her. As I do so, I curse the small size of the bed, but once my body is pressed up against Regina's warm one, I realize its not the worst idea to be sharing a bunk with this beautiful woman. Instead of settling in a spooning position, I settle onto my back and wrap my arm around her, pulling her so she is lying half on me. Her head settles naturally into the crook of my neck and she throws a leg over mine, so that our legs are intertwined in the small space. She is in her usual sleeping attire of a sports bra and shorts, and I take advantage of the skin on display as I softly trail my fingertips against the warm skin of her lower back. One of her hands sneaks under the hem of my t-shirt and squeezes the skin near my hip affectionately before settling there, her palm warm and soft as it splays against me.

"You smell good." She mumbles sleepily, nuzzling her face against my neck, which she kisses a few times before stilling and sighing happily, her breath warm against my skin.

I smile and let my eyes finally close, grateful to be able to hold Regina close as we doze off for a little while. Regina's watch alarm wakes us at 6:30, and after a few minutes spent trading lazy kisses as we both transition into consciousness, she pulls back and groans softly, resting her chin against my chest.

"I have to get up." She says wistfully, leaning her head forward to kiss me one last time. "This was nice." She brings her hand up to brush her knuckles affectionately along my cheek. "I've barely seen you since you arrived."

I reach up and intertwine my fingers with hers. "Well, it's a good thing I have the next twenty-four hours off." I pause, watching her face for her reaction to this news. She smiles widely as she shifts her hips so that she is straddling me and laces her other fingers with mine, shifting both our joined hands so that they are pinned lightly above my head.

"Well, that is _definitely_ a good thing." She leans down and kisses me again. Her lips move against mine lazily at first, but then she deepens the kiss and I get a sense that this kiss is a promise of things to come. She shifts her hips slightly, providing a sweet pressure that sends a jolt straight to my clit. She grinds slowly back and forth, and I can feel my many months of celibacy in full force as my arousal begins to heighten my senses. I can't help the quiet moan that slips out and my eyes open again as she stops her sensual movement and releases my hands. She gives me one last kiss and straightens up again. I bring my hands to cup her perfect ass and give it a firm squeeze in payback. She chuckles as I give her a cheeky wink and then the solid warmth of her body is sliding off me as she stands beside the bed. I watch as she stretches her arms above her head, her muscles in her arms and upper back rippling with the effort. Even in the dark, my eyes are drawn to the large scar on the side of her abdomen, which I study for a moment before her arms come down and rest on either side of her body. She notices me staring at it and I can see her stiffen slightly, clearly uncomfortable with my scrutiny.

I push the blanket aside and shift my legs over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. Leaning forward I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close. I press a gentle kiss to her stomach, just to the side of where the scar starts. Her abdominal muscles contract in reflex at the contact, but her hands come to rest on my shoulders. Pulling back, I look up to find Regina smiling shyly down at me. My thumbs slide slowly over the skin of her hips for a few seconds before she speaks.

"I have to go." She bends and kisses my temple. "Go back to sleep Emma." She lifts the edge of the blanket again, inviting me to stay in her bed.

I grin and slip my legs back into the warm bed, snuggling into the pillow that smells like Regina. She leans over and tucks the blanket around my shoulders then moves to get ready for her day. As I settle into the bed, I realize just how ready for sleep I am. Not wanting to get too much sleep so that I can start the transition back to working during the day, I set my alarm for a few hours before snuggling back and getting comfortable. My eyelids feel heavy, but I can't help but keep my gaze on Regina as she pulls a fresh uniform out and begins to get dressed. I doze off, but vaguely register Regina kissing my temple and whispering a quiet goodbye before the door clicks shut again.

* * *

After sleeping for a few hours, I get up and head toward the mess hall to grab some lunch. The mess hall is crowded, but I find a few guys from my platoon to sit with as we fill our bodies with much-needed fuel again. I've always had a good appetite, and I was pleasantly surprised to find the food in the mess hall fairly appetizing. I wasn't quite sure what to expect but so far, the meals have been filling and nutritious. After eating, I head back to my room to gather up my dirty laundry that has accumulated over the past week and head to the laundry facility to start a load of laundry. Living out of a duffel bag and a rucksack for six months was going to take some getting used to, but for now I was grateful of the base's facilities that provided us with the ability to clean uniforms and underclothes. Once my laundry is in, I settle into a chair and put my headphones in, putting on some classic rock. I had brought a small notebook with me, and I pull out a pen so that I can write a couple letters, one to Henry and Mary Margaret, and one to David. I had been able to call home once so far, and although the call was shorter than I would have liked, it was nice to hear their voices as they narrated what they had been up to in my absence so far. On Henry's letter, I scribbled a few doodles in the margins, knowing that he would be excited to see my version of the C-130 that had brought me here as well as the Blackhawk helicopters that provided a constant presence at the base, whether transporting troops or helping to medevac injured soldiers from the field. Grinning at my poor attempt at the helicopter, I finish up the letter to my son and Mary Margaret and start on the one to David, making sure to communicate that I was fine and that I missed them. Just as I finished the letters, I switched my laundry to the dryer. Once the dryer was spinning, I headed over to the main operations building to mail my letters back to California.

With a half hour to kill before my laundry was done, I jogged back to my room to change into my PT gear, hoping to head over to the gym after so I could get a good workout in. After lacing up my running shoes, I headed back over to the laundry facility and listened to music again until the last fifteen minutes on the dryer cycle were done. Folding my laundry took another handful of minutes, and I quickly make the trip back to the barracks to deposit it onto my bed before making my way over to the gym.

The gym is pretty crowded, but I head over to claim one of the treadmills so I can start my workout off with a five-mile run. I spend a few minutes stretching out my muscles before I crank up the tempo on the treadmill and start to run at a brisk pace. Running has always been a way to clear my mind, and even though the gym is crowded everything fades away as I concentrate on my stride and the rhythmic in-out of each breath. At the halfway point, I'm pretty pleased with my pace, but up the tempo a small amount. A short while later, I'm breathing heavily as sweat glistens over my body, but as I lower the pace to a walk so I can cool down, I feel the pleasant burn from my exertion. I walk to cool down for five minutes, then hop off the treadmill so another soldier can use it. With a brief nod to a couple of my buddies who are lifting weights across the room, I head over to the water cooler and down a few cups of water to replenish my fluids. Grabbing a towel from the rack, I wipe the sweat from my face and head over to the weights, hoping to work my arms and legs for a bit to finish out my gym session.

I lift weights for a half hour or so, making sure to hit all the major muscle groups in my arms and legs. I'm pleasantly sore when I'm done and wipe my face with the towel again as I bump fists with the other guys and head over to an open area of the gym beside the boxing equipment to do a few sets of crunches and pushups to round out the workout. Depositing my towel on a bench I crank out the first set of crunches at a punishing pace. My abdominal muscles are protesting as I sit up fully and pause for a minute to recover in between sets. My gaze travels over toward the heavy bags where I see a familiar brunette relentlessly pounding at it with practiced precision and deadly accuracy. When I realize that it is Regina I lean back on my arms and watch in awe as she continues her boxing routine in a slow circle around the heavy bag.

She is wearing a racerback tank top which is saturated with sweat, and her entire body is glistening from the sheen of perspiration that she has worked up. Her body moves gracefully throughout different combinations, her toned legs snapping up every so often with a strong kick. I can see the striations in the muscles in her arms and upper back, and from the looks of it, she has been working the heavy bag for a while. The look on her face is of fierce determination, and it almost looks as though she is trying to fight off her demons as her fists relentlessly move at a lightning fast pace. In my mind, I remember seeing her boxing award from her time at the Naval Academy which hinted at her prowess in boxing but seeing it in person is something totally different. I had seen her athletic ability a handful of times in boot camp, most notably when she kicked my ass in the fitness test run, but something about watching Regina boxing feels almost dangerous. She is a physical specimen, and I can't help as a shiver of arousal courses through my body.

Swallowing thickly, my workout is quickly forgotten as I stand up and walk slowly over toward Regina. She seems to be finishing up, slowing the pace at which her wrapped fists were pounding the heavy bag. As I get closer, I see the beads of sweat rolling down her neck toward her collarbone and I push down my desire to lean in and lick the salty drops before they disappear below her tank top. With one last combination she lands one final vicious jab that thwacks loudly against the bag before bending at the waist and placing her hands on her knees and breathing heavily. I watch as she calms her breathing down after a few beats, and then straightens up. Her eyes flicker up to mine, and I am surprised by the fierce intensity that I see when my eyes lock with hers.

"Swan."

Her expression is unreadable as she begins to unwrap her hands. Her hands are trembling as she does so, and I reach out and take one trembling hand in mine before taking over the process of unwrapping her other hand. Her eyes flick up nervously to mine, clearly apprehensive about our proximity to each other in such a public space. They widen when I take her now unwrapped hand in mine and gently examine her reddened and slightly swollen knuckles. Even with the protective wrapping, she had done a number on them.

"Do they hurt?"

She shakes her head slightly, but she gives a small wince as I rub my thumb across a particularly red area. Regina takes her hand back and starts unwrapping her other hand, which is just as red and swollen as the first. She takes the wrappings over to where she has left a small gym bag and places them in the bag. She wipes at the sweat that has accumulated on her forehead and exhales a shaky breath, her adrenaline clearly fading after such an intense workout. Grabbing her bag from the bench she heads toward the exit and I follow her, wanting to make sure she is okay. Something about the way her eyes flashed dangerously as she threw punch after punch makes me think that there was more to Regina's workout and I hope that she'll let me in and talk to me about what's going on.

The desert sun is blazing high in the sky as we make our way back toward our sleeping quarters. We walk in silence, feeling the heat from the sun-scorched dirt beneath our sneakers. Once we reach our room, I pull open the door, allowing Regina to enter first before following her in. She crosses the room and sits down to take off her shoes and socks. I close the door softly and start to follow suit, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I glance up and find Regina watching me.

"You okay?"

She stands up from her bed and takes a few tentative steps toward me. "I will be." She replies, taking a few more steps, this time more confidently. She stops to pull her sweat-soaked tank top off, tossing it carelessly onto the floor.

"Y-you wanna talk about it?" I stutter out, seeing her abdominal muscles gleaming with sweat as she stands in front of me. _Fuck_ her body is perfect.

She shakes her head, slipping her hands beneath the waistband of her shorts and pushing them down over her hips, exposing firm thighs and a multitude of perfect olive skin. "No. I don't want to talk." She kicks the shorts aside and leans in and kisses me hungrily, a hand moving to push gently at my chest, encouraging me to lay back on my bed. I break the kiss as I lean back, and before I am fully settled onto the bed, Regina is straddling my hips as she crosses her arms around her abdomen and begins to strip off her sports bra.

"Oh… _fuck._ " I lick my lips in response as I watch her nipples hardening in the cool air. Seeing Regina perched above me topless and glistening with sweat is easily the sexiest thing I have ever seen, and as my eyes roam over her perfectly sized breasts and down the smooth skin toward her navel I can't keep from touching anymore and pull her towards me to capture her lips again. She moans softly as I deepen the kiss, my tongue moving against hers. This kiss is hot, desperate, and dirty, and I feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest as our tongues dance sensuously against one another.

Regina finally breaks the kiss and sits back, her chest flushed with arousal and her nipples rigidly standing at attention and begging to be sucked. Without another thought I lean up and capture one in my mouth, sucking lightly on it before teasing it with a soft nip. Regina gasps and arches her back, pressing her breast further into my mouth in response. I reach up and palm at her other breast, kneading and rolling the soft flesh as Regina begins to roll her hips against mine. She threads her fingers into my hair, her short fingernails scratching slowly against my scalp as she lets out a quiet gasp when I give another soft nip to the side of her breast.

"Emma…that feels…fuck."

Hearing Regina curse as I suck on her nipples does things to me, and I feel myself starting to get wet as Regina writhes in my lap. She pulls her hands out of my hair and reaches down and begins to push up my shirt. I release her breast with a wet pop and allow her to slide my t-shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor beside the bed. Sliding my hands beneath the waistband of her panties I cup her ass in both hands as she leans down to kiss me again. I push and pull softly, encouraging her to rock her hips against mine. Her skin feels so hot against mine, and I slide one hand further down her ass until my fingertips briefly brush against her wetness. I suck in a breath at the sensation, immediately knowing I need to taste this woman. I pull my hands back, slipping them out of her panties, and place one at the small of her back, pressing her to me as I flip our positions the best I can in the small space. I turn her slightly so that she leans back against the wall and pull her hips toward the edge of the bed.

"I want to taste you." I hook my fingers in the waistband of her panties and lean forward to capture her lips. She nods against me in consent and threads her fingers into my hair again, pushing down gently to guide me where she wants me. I kneel on the floor and slide her panties down her legs, exposing her glistening pussy. She tilts her hips up slightly in anticipation, and I slide the tips of my fingers up her thighs a few times, watching as goosebumps break out over her skin at the sensation. Leaning in, I push softly on her thighs, encouraging her to open them more before lifting one over my shoulder. With my thumbs, I open her up to expose her clit and lock eyes with Regina as I run my tongue slowly along her lips as I take the first taste of her. Regina moans loudly and her eyes flutter shut as she tosses her head back at the feeling.

"Yes…Emma!" Her fingers tighten in my hair as I take another long swipe, savoring her taste once again. I'm instantly addicted to this, and I lean in and flick at her clit a few times, wrapping one hand over her hip to keep her hips from squirming too much. Pulling back, I slide my fingertips slowly through her increasing wetness, coating them in her arousal. Slipping them into my mouth, I suck the wetness off, looking up to find Regina watching me with brown eyes filled with lust.

"You're delicious." I grin, swiping my fingers down to tease at her drenched opening and coat them once again. Lifting them up, I hold them out to her, and she greedily grabs my wrist and brings my fingers to her lips, tasting herself and moaning as she does so. I raise up higher on my knees and wrap a hand around her neck so I can kiss her, immediately tasting Regina as my tongue darts out a few times to lick at the essence that lingers on her lips. Pulling back, I kiss my way back down her body, stopping to suck on each nipple and kissing along her lower belly as she shivers beneath my tongue and lips.

"Make me come." Regina pleads breathlessly, her fingers tightening in my hair. "Please…stop teasing."

I lean forward and seal my mouth over her pussy, sucking gently for a few seconds before flicking my tongue quickly over her clit. Moving lower, I press my tongue into her slick hole, savoring her essence right from the source with a groan. Her hips begin to rock, trying to fuck herself on my tongue and I reach out to steady her with one hand before moving my mouth away and sliding one finger into her dripping heat. She is warm and slippery, and I briefly remember how long I have been celibate for and wonder how I have made it this long when the feeling of being inside a woman is so incredibly erotic. Regina's grip on my hair loosens, and she releases me to lean back against the wall as she lets herself be fucked shallowly by my finger. She's tight, but incredibly wet, and after a moment I add a second finger and begin to thrust deeper.

Within seconds she is tightening against my thrusts, her walls fluttering every so often as I move her higher and higher toward orgasm. The sounds she is making and the feeling of her walls tightening around my fingers has ruined my underwear I am sure. Changing the angle of my fingers slightly elicits a gasp from Regina, who reaches down to grasp at my hair as I start to rub against her g-spot with each thrust of my fingers.

" _Fuck_ …Emma…oh god…right _there_." She pants out as her chest heaves with each breath. "Don't stop…make me come."

Leaning forward I capture her clit in my mouth again, sucking hard as I look up to watch her reaction. Regina's back bows and she throws her head back, her neck straining and her chest heaving. Droplets begin to flow down palm toward my wrist and Regina's pussy begins to tighten around my fingers. With one more suck, Regina's whole body tenses, and her pussy clamps down on my fingers as it contracts rhythmically as she orgasms. I move from her clit and lap up the wetness that drips out, moaning softly at the heady taste of her arousal. Once her pussy relaxes enough, I stroke gently a couple more times and pull my fingers free, wiping them of her wetness on my thigh. I raise up from my position on the floor, leaning in to kiss her temple a few times before gathering the shuddering brunette into my arms. Her body is covered in a fresh sheen of sweat and she is breathing heavily as she comes down from her high.

Once her breathing has returned to normal, she looks up at me with a sleepy smile.

"Give me a minute and I'll return the favor."

I chuckle, feeling the stickiness between my legs that has definitely ruined my underwear by this point. My clit is throbbing with my heartbeat, but there is something immensely satisfying about holding a sweaty, fully sated, and naked Regina in my arms that made me want to stay here in this moment for as long as possible.

"There's no rush, babe." I whisper, wrapping my arm more tightly around her waist and pulling her back to lay on top of me. She wrinkles her nose at the nickname but leans forward to kiss me sweetly. She pulls back with an affectionate smile.

"Babe, huh?" She turns her head and rests it against my breastbone.

I smile, knowing she is teasing me for the nickname slipping out. I reach down with one hand and pinch her ass in response, earning a quiet gasp from Regina.

"Shut up _babe_." I reply, sliding my hand back up along the smooth expanse of tanned skin and tickling along the side of her breasts.

She squirms slightly against my touch, and I can feel her wet pussy against the bare skin of my hip. Feeling the warm wetness against me makes me draw in a shuddering breath as another drop of wetness drips into my boxer briefs.

Regina pushes up slightly, raising up so she can look at me. She notices the look of discomfort on my face as my arousal begins to heighten again. With a grin she leans forward and kisses me again.

"Maybe babe isn't so bad." She says as she pulls back, her hand sliding slowly down from my chest toward my stomach.

"No?" I shudder as her nails rake small circles around my navel before dipping lower.

She shakes her head as her eyes darken with lust once again as her fingers slip beneath my shorts and into my boxer briefs.

"I think I could get used to it."

I groan softly as cool fingertips slide into my wetness and begin to circle teasingly around my clit.

 _Fuck_. Regina Mills was going to be the death of me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone,**

 **Just a heads up that it might be a few weeks before the next update is posted. I'm going on a much-needed vacation, so bear with me for a bit as I enjoy some much-needed sunshine and time away from reality and responsibility. As always, thank you so much for reading and for your wonderfully supportive comments and reviews. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

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My eyes clench shut in ecstasy as my second orgasm washes over me. Rocking my hips against Regina's wickedly talented tongue, I pull and twist at my nipple with one hand as the other clutches at the dark head between my thighs, attempting to prolong my orgasm as I shudder and jerk above her. The last week had passed in a haze of early mornings and late nights with Regina. The days were busy, trying to learn my role within the unit as well as the hazards that come with operating in a war zone. Our patrols were long and intense, and when I came off shift it had been blissful to return to our room, often waiting for Regina to finish up her duties for the day, and then spend the evenings and nights in each other's arms. Tonight had been much of the same, except this time I had returned after Regina for once, stopping at the operations center to pick up a letter that had arrived. The letter had been forgotten about immediately however, when Regina had quickly pinned me to the wall and stripped me of my gym clothes and given me a quick and dirty orgasm with her fingers before pushing me down onto the bed and letting me ride her face.

Regina continued to suck and lick gently as my climax finally subsided, and I finally have to reach down and thread my fingers through her silky hair when the sensations become too much for my overstimulated body. Sliding gently from my position above her I move to the side and off her, situating my back against the cool wall and cuddling against Regina, leaning in and giving her a few lazy kisses, tasting myself on her lips as I do so. Pulling back, I exhale slowly, feeling my body beginning to calm down as I wrap my arms around Regina's trim waist.

"Did you miss me?"

Regina chuckles beneath me, the rich warm sound making my heart flutter with enjoyment. These moments with her had me finally seeing the real Regina, and it was remarkable to see the difference between her rigid and stoic military persona.

"I would say that is a safe assumption Emma." She replies softly.

Fingers stroke through my hair, which had been unceremoniously freed from its usual bun as Regina had yanked my clothes from my body. The feeling is comforting, and I nuzzle my cheek against her chest and breathe in Regina's distinct scent, her floral bodywash somewhat tinged by the sheen of sweat that we have worked up. I press a kiss to her sternum, just about to shut my eyes and take in the closeness of the woman, before my eyes trail to the white envelope that had been dropped on the floor.

"Oh…my letter."

As carefully as I can, I slide off Regina and pad across the small room and bend down to pick up the discarded envelope, grinning cheekily as I turn to find Regina's dark eyes hungrily admiring my ass as I do so. Rolling my eyes good-naturedly I flip the envelope over to see the return address, a wide smile appearing as I realize its from Mary Margaret. I push my finger along the seam of the large envelope and tear it open, pulling out the letter from inside and tossing the envelope carelessly onto the floor as I slip back into bed with Regina.

One of Regina's hands threads back into my hair and the other reaches down to intertwine with my free hand as I glance at the neat handwriting of my adoptive mother.

"Who's it from?" Regina gives a gentle squeeze to my hand.

I pause, realizing that this will be the first time we have talked about my family. She of course knows I have a son from our interactions back in boot camp, but we have so far stayed away from discussing any personal details of our lives.

"Oh…umm, it's from Mary Margaret. She and David adopted me when I was seventeen." My eyes flick up nervously to gauge her reaction, but she just smiles warmly before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. My eyes flick back to the paper and begin to read.

 _Dear Emma,_

 _We miss you so much already! I couldn't wait to write to you any longer, so I hope this letter finds you safe and settling in okay. Watching you take off on that plane was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I know that you have been training for this deployment and that you are the bravest young woman I know. David and I are immensely proud of you, and we are so honored that our daughter is overseas fighting for our country. Please stay safe and come home to us. You've come such a long way from the sullen teenager who got into too many fights that we adopted all these years ago._

 _Henry misses you terribly but has been good as gold so far. Every night we say a prayer to keep mama safe, and he won't go to bed unless he has his teddy that August gave him tucked under his arm. He doesn't quite understand that you will be gone for six months, but I make sure to tell him that you love him as much as I can and that you will be home as soon as you can. I'll try and send you some pictures with my next letter so you can put them up and make your living arrangement feel more like home. He's such a wonderful boy Emma, and he has been such a blessing to our lives. David is flying out at the end of next week for a few days, so I'm sure Henry will be excited to have some "guy time" with his Grampy David. Those two are as thick as thieves._

 _We hope to hear from you soon. Henry and David send all their love, as do I. Keep making us proud, Emma._

 _Love,_

 _Mary Margaret_

I don't realize I am crying until a tear drops onto Regina's bare chest. I drop the letter and cover my face with my hand, letting out a choked sob. I never realized I would miss my family this much. Especially my son. My heart clenches as I close my eyes tightly and picture his handsome little face. Opening my eyes again I wipe hastily at the hot tears running down my face and bury it into Regina's chest, feeling her arms immediately wrapping me in a comforting embrace. Her palm is warm as it soothingly moves up and down my back, while the other hand wraps around my hip.

I cry for a few minutes, but Regina just holds me, allowing me to calm down slowly with her gentle touches until I release a shuddering breath against her.

"I'm sorry." I raise my head to wipe hastily at the last tears on my cheeks.

She cranes her neck so she can kiss my forehead, her lips warm and lingering against my skin.

"Don't be." She replies softly. "First deployments can be terribly difficult." Her face darkens as she pulls back and settles her head against the pillow again. "Mine was." She blinks a few times, seemingly trying to push away whatever dark thoughts are currently invading her mind and brown eyes return to meet mine. "I can't imagine how much harder it is for you though, given that you have a child."

"I just miss him so damn much." I shut my eyes as a fresh wave of tears begins to threaten to escape. "He's so little. I don't want him to ever think that I abandoned him." My own abandonment as a child brings back a lot of insecurities, and even though I know I am doing the right thing for me and my son by being in the military, I _never_ want Henry to feel as though I have abandoned him.

I reach down beneath the pillow that Regina's head is resting on and locate the picture of Henry that is tucked into the pillowcase for safe keeping. Pulling it out, I study it for a moment before a tanned hand comes up and shifts my wrist slightly so that she can look at the picture. I tear my eyes away from my son's smiling face to study Regina's. Her mouth quirks upwards in a smile and her eyes soften as she looks at Henry's picture.

"He has your eyes." She releases my wrist and I study the picture for another moment. "He's a very handsome little boy." She tilts my chin up with one of her fingers and leans in for a soft kiss. "He clearly takes after his very beautiful mother."

I study the picture. Henry does have my eyes, the green color a striking contrast to his dark hair which falls shaggily along his forehead. Mary Margaret always says that he has my chin as well, but as he grows older, I can't help but realize just how much Henry takes after his father. I've come to terms with the fact that Henry was the product of a drunken one-night stand in college, but I've never once considered Henry to be a mistake. That little boy was the one thing that I had done right in life. And although my heart breaks each time I think about missing out on six months of my son's life, I know that I need to focus on my mission and on coming home safe to his handsome little face.

"He looks like his father, I think." I wrinkle my nose slightly at the statement even though it's true. I look up at Regina who smiles in response. "This picture is from Henry's fourth birthday." Tucking the picture back into the pillowcase for safekeeping, I close my eyes and picture Henry's excitement when he saw the cake that Mary Margaret had made for him and can't help the grin that appears on my face. "He thought he had died and gone to heaven when we let him have as much cake as he could eat."

Regina laughs and I feel her body shake gently beneath me.

"Well, if your excitement over the grilled cheese in the mess hall the other day is anything to go off of, it sounds as though Henry definitely takes after his mother."

I smack her breast lightly with the back of my hand in mock offense. "Hey. Don't knock the grilled cheese." I slide my leg over hers and shift my pelvis to raise up so that I'm now straddling her hips. "What can I say? Us Swans like to eat." With a playful grin I bend down and nip teasingly at her breasts, feeling her squirm beneath me. She lets out a soft gasp and reaches up to grip my hips, her fingers warm as they splay across my skin. I look down to find her staring at my abdomen, and then her fingertips begin to trace across the fine silver stretch marks that are a reminder of housing my son in my body for nine months.

"I've never noticed these before." Goosebumps erupt on my skin as her fingers trace the fine lines down my belly. Her eyes flick up to mine, and I feel my face flush at the expression in her eyes.

"Yeah, well, those are a lovely souvenir from a very long and uncomfortable nine months." I quip sarcastically, reaching down to intertwine my fingers with Regina's and squeezing softly a few times. "Being pregnant is super weird." I slide off her hips to the side again, reaching down and pulling the blanket over both of us. It is quiet as we both squirm around a bit to get comfortable. I sling an arm across Regina's flat and toned belly, unblemished by stretch marks. "Do you ever think about having kids?"

Regina sucks in a breath, causing me to look up and see her brow furrowing at my question. "I have thought about it quite often." She pauses, chewing on her bottom lip distractedly. Underneath the blanket I feel her hand move to slide over a portion of the jagged scar on her abdomen. "But I cannot have children." Her expression darkens as she fingers the raised scar briefly before dropping her hand limply to her side.

Reaching over I pick up her hand and kiss her knuckles softly a few times then rest our joined hands over her stomach. "I'm sorry Regina. I didn't think." I prop my head in my hand so I can look up at her better to study her expression over the sensitive topic.

"It's alright Emma. You wouldn't have known." She shakes her head, smiling wistfully for a brief second. "I've always wanted children. My wife Jamie used to say that someday we would have enough children for a soccer team." Her expression turns dark once again and I can easily see the emotional turmoil in her dark eyes. This is the first time I had heard mention of her wife, and I can see that talking about it must be difficult for Regina. My mind drifts back to when I had seen the picture of Regina at her wedding, and my heart clenches as I picture how happy she was in that moment in contrast with the anguish present on her face currently. "But I don't see that turning out to be true." She closes her eyes as I see a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek and I reach up and brush it away with my thumb.

"Hey…Regina…there are other ways to make a family." Although my childhood in the foster system was full of abuse, both physical and emotional, I had been extremely fortunate to be adopted by David and Mary Margaret and considered myself very lucky to have such a supportive family. Adoption had changed my life.

Regina opens her eyes again and they are watery and full of unshed tears. She sniffles softly and gives me a smile. "Of course there are, Emma." She pauses, blinking back tears. "I just…I haven't thought much about having children since losing Jamie."

Regina's willing admission acknowledging this aspect of her personal life takes me by surprise. Spending so much time together over the past couple weeks has revealed very little about her personal life. She seems to be a very guarded and private person, and I have just realized that much of this stems from losing her wife. Regina was only six years older than me, and the idea of her already having lost so much in her life was a crushing realization.

"God…Regina, I'm so sorry." I pull her into my arms, feeling her clutch desperately at my back as she shudders once against me and then begins to cry quietly, her tears hot and wet against my neck as they fall. I hold her close, trying to absorb even a fraction of the pain she is clearly feeling in this moment. After a few moments she begins to calm, taking in a few long breaths and exhaling shakily against me. "Are you okay?" I ask tentatively, smoothing my fingertips along her forehead and brushing a few strands of her dark hair from her face.

Regina brushes her fingers along her tearstained cheek and shakes her head slightly before resting her cheek against my shoulder again. 

"I just…I…being here with you reminds me of being here with her." She pauses and exhales shakily again. "We deployed together shortly after we got married. We considered ourselves lucky since we were both in different units, she had studied Arabic and Political Science at the academy and had deployed in tandem with my logistics unit as a translator. We were about four months into our deployment and had been moved to a smaller base in southern Iraq for the majority of the time. We were lucky to have a smooth experience while we were there, and that area had remained fairly calm with only a few firefights with a few pockets of insurgents. With a month left, the end of our deployment was in sight and we loaded up into a convoy to head back toward Baghdad." Regina pauses and I can feel her stiffen against me as she steels herself for the next portion of her story. I crane my neck to press a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Regina…I know this is hard for you. You don't have to tell me. I'm here with you, and that's all that matters." I reach up to tangle my fingers through her soft dark locks and look down, my heart breaking at the absolutely gut-wrenching expression on Regina's face. She shakes her head slightly and her eyes flutter shut briefly. When she opens them, more tears begin to stream down her face.

"I just…I need to get this out. You need to know." Her eyes flick up to mine and her sorrowful expression tells me all I need to know. The ghosts of Regina's past still haunted her every day, and I could plainly see that written in anguish all over her face. "We were halfway back to Baghdad when the convoy was ambushed by insurgents. The vehicle I was in hit an IED. The front end of the vehicle took most of the damage, however, I was critically wounded by shrapnel from the blast." I can't help as my fingers immediately travel to the jagged scar on Regina's abdomen, tracing it softly as she continues her harrowing story. "Thanks to the quick thinking of several of the marines in my unit, I was pulled from the wreckage. I lost a lot of blood and went into shock, and I was in and out of consciousness for most of the time. The last thing I remember was Jamie's voice, telling me to hold on just a few more minutes."

I close my eyes, struggling to fight against the tears that are burning in my eyes as Regina recounts the horrible events of her last deployment. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotional and physical trauma that she had been through, and I can't help but pull her closer to me as I struggle to wrap my mind around Regina being wounded critically and nearly bleeding out.

Regina lets out a choking sob as her body shudders against mine. "When I woke up, I was in a military hospital in Germany. I had been in a medically induced coma for a week, but the surgeons had managed to patch me up fairly well. I remember waking up and asking for my wife…for Jamie. And when I saw the look on the doctor's face, I knew that she was dead." Regina chokes out those final words and sags against me, her hands and arms clinging desperately to me as I try and soothe her the best I can, even though I know my efforts will never be enough. "It was only a few weeks later when I was back in the US that I learned what happened. Jamie had been shot in the attack. She had shielded my body as we waited for the medevac helicopter to arrive. She saved me."

I have no words. Regina's wife had been a hero. The woman in my arms would not be here if not for her. As we cling to one another, I can't help but wonder if I would do the same if it were me. The connection I have with Regina is intense, but I know that it is too soon to think about love. Regina is leaving to head stateside in less than a week, and who knows what will happen to me over the next six months or so of my deployment. There are so many unknowns. But as I hold tightly to the woman in my arms, I know that I will do anything in my power to come home safely to my loved ones. Henry, Mary Margaret, David, and now Regina. I will do anything to come home to them.

"I'm so sorry Regina." I wipe gently at the tears streaming down her flushed face. I truly don't know what to say or how to comfort her best. "I'm here. Tell me what I can do. Please."

Regina opens her eyes, her dark lashes fluttering as she does so. She looks so fragile and broken, such a stark contrast from her usual façade.

"Be here. Be with me." She whimpers softly. "Just…hold me."

Wrapping my arms more tightly around her, I pull her close and do as I'm told, desperate to convey my feelings for the beautifully broken woman though my physical touch. Our relationship would be different from here on out, but I know that I would do anything to take away Regina's pain.


End file.
